Expert: Don - 1/18/2008

Question
My girlfriend of 5 yrs and I decided to have a confessions session. we have a pretty solid relationship and we just knew that we were both hiding things from the other.

she disclosed things she did and what not, so did i. come to find out she did alot more than i did, but i accepted it and we forgave each other. then we decided that we would have no more secrets.

well i got a message she sent to a guy, now mind you this is after we had our confession session, and she was pretty much telling him she wished that she and i clicked the way they did when they first met, and how even though she and i are back together she misses him. and how if they were in the same place they would be together. she did at least say that i was a good man.  then i found out they were intimate.

this really hurt me because she had this convo after we decided not to keep secrets. so now im feeling horrible, and i feel like i cant trust her. she tells me she likes to flirt and make people feel like they are more important than what they really are. now mind u this guy has a girlfriend and is in a different state, and she said she didnt mean it. we were supposed to be getting closer, but now i look at her in a different light.

cause when she went to minnesota to visit friends, she told me nothing happened, this is where she met him and they did "something"  she had the opportunity to tell me this when we had our talk.

now i feel stupid...what do u think?

Answer
You should know now that she can't be trusted. She had the perfectly chance to tell you everything that she has been doing and she still chose to hide this from you.

It also appears that she wants to carry on a relationship with this other guy at the same time she's dating you and the only thing stopping her is distance.

You might want to reconsider your relationship and whether you want to be with this woman any longer.