Expert: Don - 1/2/2008

Question
okay...i was with my girlfriend on new years eve and i left her with her friends at about 1 o' clock because they were getting ready to drink and i've stopped drinking for over a year now so i told my girlfriend not to drink...she told me she wasn't going to but i didn't really believe her because she was looking for drinks earlier...so i left and i she called me around 4 in the morning telling me she got home safe and everything she did and stuff then we went to sleep...then the next morning i was on the computer and i was on imeem (a music profile website) and i remembered that she had a profile on there...so i checked her profile out and saw that she had music dedicated to her ex-boyfriend..this didn't go too well with me...so i wrote her a letter explaining that i wish she didnt have things like that to remember him by and that it didn't help that i had a dream that she cheated on me that same night..so i went to her house that day and she was acting a little weird    and said her stomach hurt so i figured that's why she was acting that way...then i gave her the letter and she read it..then sat up straight and looked at me and asked me about my dream...i told her it was just a nightmare that you cheated on me...then she started writing something on the back of the letter...and said it was weird that i had that dream because she did cheat on me that night with her ex...so i left after yelling at her...now she says shes so sorry and she swears to get over him because she needs me and can't imagine life without me...and i love her...but..im not sure if i should get back with her...because i'm not sure if i need her...or if i can trust her again...

Answer
If you feel you can never trust her again then you shouldn't be with her. Relationships are built on trust and if one partner doesn't trust the other the relationship can never last. What is going happen if you don't trust her is every time she isn't around you, you'll be thinking that she's cheating on you and you'll end up driving yourself crazy, it's better to just break up with her and try to find a woman that you can trust then to try and stay in a relationship with a woman you can't.

Plus it's obvious that she isn't ready to be with you because she still has feelings for her ex-boyfriend, that's why she has songs dedicated to him and cheated on you with him, she's not over him yet and she could never be with you if she still is in love with the other guy.

Also about the needing you, you don't want a girl who is with you because she needs you, you want a girl who is with you because she wants you. Need implies that you are doing something for her that she can't live with out, wanting you means that she's with you just because she wants to be.

I think you should let go at least until she can prove she is over her ex.