Expert: Don - 10/17/2008

Question
Hi,
My boyfriend broke up with me for a week recently. During that time he would text me everyday asking if i was ok saying that he still loved me but he needed to sort his head out and didn't know what he wanted.
I played it cool and by the end of the week he was begging me to take him back.
This was about 3 weeks ago.
Now i took him back and he was very nearly in tears when he met me from work saying he missed me and that he was so sorry to have hurt me. That he just panicked and ended our relationship.
So 3 weeks later i find out that he slept with a girl called victoria, 2 days before begging me to take him back. He lied to me and said that they had only kissed. He finally admitted to it and i was devastated but as we weren't together when it happened, I wasn't sure if i could class it as cheating.
We tried to work through it but i really wasn't happy and didn't trust him. He hadn't done anything to make up for the fact that he had lied to me.
So the Tuesday just gone a friend calls me to tell me that my boyfriend (Shane) had been texting this girl called Amy and that they have kissed - this happened after we got back together.
I felt humiliated! Why on earth would he do this to me?
He said it was just stupidity. The boy is not very good at showing his feelings and definitely not very good with words.
I spent the evening shouting and telling him exactly what i thought of him. He just kept saying sorry and that he didn't know what else to say. He said that i make him really happy - if that was true why would he be going after another girl.
its been 3 days and I've been ignoring his texts and calls simply because i don't think I'm ready to talk to him again.
I just feel so stupid because i knew about he past with cheating on girls before and i really thought he had changed.
he says he loves me and he never meant to hurt me. He said he doesn't know how to show his love for me and he got scared and threw it all away. He says he wants to talk and wishes that i was with him now so that he could try and show me how much i mean to him.
I'm really stuck because my heart wants to be with him but my head tells me to end it.
Its going to take me a long time to trust him again and if i take him back how do i know if he's not going to do it again? what if he thinks he's got away with it and that he can walk all over me.
It really hurts.
If you could please give me any advice at all to help me i would be so grateful
Thank you

Answer
If it had only happened once then I would say give him a second chance but seeing as how he did it twice back to back and right after he was begging you to take him back. If he truly loved you like he claimed you would not have to worry about trusting him because he would have never done anything in the first place to break that trust.

If you get back with again, he's going keep cheating because he will think that he can do it anytime he wanted and then just say sorry and you will take him back again. Put your foot down and end this.