Expert: Melissa Durazo - 11/23/2008

Question
im his mistress, i feel im cheated so i cheated, now he doesnt forgive me. He
was my boss,i always knew he was married, and i was engaged. we started
talking outside work when he had some problems, i offer to listen. i fell in
love with, so i broke up with my fiance, and told him, he said he couldnt leave
his wife since he had a small daughter, he could offer me friendship not
necessarily with sex involved. things went a little further, but i just couldnt
take him being married, so started dating other men, trying to find a real
relationship, and forget him,  i was still seeing him. so i guess we both were
cheating on each other. during the last months we got involved more deeply,
i stop going with other men since he was giving me more time, but one night
i went out with a guy who i kissed, nothing else happened, and he found out
about this and a serious problem came.. he called me whore, slut and
everything possibly imagined, he said he had put everything on stake for me,
his business his family, and that all i was dong is going around town like a
whore. after days of argument, he said he was thinking of leaving his wife and
with my attitude i was making him regret this. i believe him, i cried and still
cry for him to forgive me my going out with other guys, and that i really love
him and want a relationship with him. but the big headache is that he is still
married, he says that takes time. but what kills me is that im really willing to
commit with him, but every other day he asks about the guys i went out while
with him, and throws it to my face, and asks why why i would go out with
somebody else if i loved him... im being honest about loving him, i never
cared about anybody else but him and i he says i use the excuse of him being
married. he says he doesnt trust me. what should i do? is he being honest
about leaving the wife? is it true i cheated on him behaving like a slut? do you
think there is a chance this could actually become a serious relationship?

Answer
Ask yourself this question......Why would you want someone who would cheat on his wife, someone he vowed to love, honor and cherish until death do them part, to love you? If he would cheat on his wife, he will certainly cheat on you in the long run, if given the chance...
This man is pulling a mind trick on you by making you feel guilty for having a life aside from him.....You don't owe him anything. You aren't in a real relationship. He isn't committing to you. And, he is only stringing you along with guilt trips and false promises. He has you where he wants you. Because, he knows he can get away with it.
He isn't cheating on you. He is married. He's actually cheating on his wife. And, you are the other woman. A man can't cheat on the other woman, because, the other woman knows he is married from the get go.
I apologize for sounding so harsh..but, you need to see things for what they are, not for what you wish them to be.
You deserve better than what he is giving to you. You deserve someone who is really going to devote himself to you. And, I know you don't want to share the man that you love.....
He is abusive and selfish and manipulative.......You need to be strong and get rid of him. Get another job. Move to a different dept. in the company. Cut him off. Live your life drama free and stop depending on a man who in all reality, isn't a real man at all..
Surround yourself with people who care and love you......Stop being his side dish.......You deserve respect......Be strong! You can do it, hun.....
Good luck......
Regards,
Melissa