Expert: Don - 11/3/2008

Question
Hey. i'm really confused, and i don't know what to do. i don't like to think that I am a bad person but I must be. I am married, just got married actually, which i shouldn't have done probably, and I have been having an affair for the past few years with my ex boyfriend, who is also my husbands friend. and we are still sleeping with eachother. I have never cheated with anyone else besides him. I just have really strong feelings for him, we dated all through highschool when we were younger, a very on again off again relationship. I think that he's still in love with me too. we just can't stay away from eachother, we arn't really that compatible together, but we have amazing physical chemistry and i feel such a strong conncection with him that i don't have with my husband, even though my husband is so great and i don't deserve him. i don't know what to do. i wish i could stop the affair, but i just can't stay away from him. Am I a really horrible person? i don't like to think of myself as a slut, but i guess it makes me one. i dunno. i wish i knew what to do?and also, i was just wondering. if my ex has never stopped wanting me does that mean that he still loves me deep down also, or does he just like the sex. and he does have a girlfriend currently. any advice would help. thank you.

Answer
I think he is a man and that as long as you continue to have sex with him, he'll stay around. It's obvious this guy isn't a good guy or he wouldn't be having sex with his friend's wife. The guy is just using you for sex and I think if you cut him off he won't be coming around much.

To test it just tell him you're ending the affair and see how he reacts. If he seems emotional upset about it then maybe he cares, if he is nonchalant then probably is just after sex.