Expert: Don - 2/6/2008

Question
ive been with my girlfriend for 3 and a half years now. We started off rough and were in a long distance relationship for 2 years which went terribly. She ended up doing alot of stuff that made me not trust her and wonder whether she loved me. This ended up hurting me and hindering out relationship(especially since it was my first long term relationship) When the long distance ended and we saw eachother regularly i started being distant at times. sometimes we would get into fights and i would get drunk and make out with some random girl... Ive never said anything because they day afterwards i would feel horribly and vowed never to do it again... we got into a small fight this weekend and things went horribly wrong.... I ended up ignoring her for two days. The first night i drank a whole bottle of JD and had sex with someone else i met that night.
Since it happened ive never felt so sick and disgusted about myself. I feel sick whenever i think about what i did to the point ive been taking sleeping pills to pass out so that i dont have to think about it anymore. i love her with all my heart but i dont want to keep doign this.. I want to take a break so that i can grow and be ready to be in a relationship again, but she wont let me... im not strong enough to force it because i cant see her upset... what should i do?

Answer
You need to man up and get strong. Since you know you aren't ready to be in this relationship, you need to take a break from her before you end up hurting her even more.

Yes she'll be hurt from the two of you taking a break but you just have to remind her that it isn't permanent and that you just need some time to get your head together.

It's much better for you to take this break from her, then to continue to cheat on her and have her find out because, then she'll be more hurt and you might lose her forever.

You need to stand up to her and tell her that the two of you need some time apart, to help you grow together.