Expert: Don - 3/1/2008

Question
Last month my fiance opened up a dating profile on a website and sent out little flirt alerts to 3 women.  He listed himself as single and looking for dates.  He apparently wanted to "test out his real feelings" for me because at the time he was being influenced very negatively from family and friends everywhere telling him to break up with me.  It was the first time in 2 years that he doubted us being together due to the influence of others.  He discovered that he "felt nothing by going online and flirting and was in fact very much in love" with me.  I think there were a million better ways to handle the situation than by doing that.  He has flirted online in the past when things between us were getting a little rough and I actually broke up with him for a couple of months.  He worked very hard to rebuild my trust in him and I took him back.  I believed he had changed but it seems that he thinks it's okay to do things like that.  He was so devastated when I told him I was considering ending it this time that he overdosed on some muscle relaxers and ended up in the hospital last night.  I love the guy very much and am having a hard time just committing my self to cutting him out of my life forever.  Is this something worth ending it over or am I being too impulsive right now?

Answer
First off this guy isn't the guy for you. A man that is truly in love with you wouldn't need a dating site to tell him how he feels about you, he would already know and wouldn't need a site to validate his feelings for you.

Second it's disrespectful to you for him to run to a dating website every time there is the slightest problem between the two of you. Instead of working on your problems, he seems to think that the best way to fix things between the two of you is to find another woman. That doesn't really make any sense at all.

You're not being impulsive and I think it would be in your best interest to end it with him.