Expert: Don - 3/15/2008

Question
My girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year now. On our 1 year she told me that she needed to feel loved. That I needed to do something special. I took this into consideration and tryied to plan things for us to do but every time I asked her to do something with me she said "no I'm hanging out with my bestfriend." Or "no I'm going home to sleep". I got no other responce for an entire week. A week after this I made plans for a big date between us when she got off work. She said no as she always did and said she didn't want me to stay at her house that night that she was just going to bed (she asked me every night to) I felt like she was cheating on me and confided in one of my good friends. I did not sleep that night and was up till 6 am talking. The next day she confronted me about me cheating when she was on vacation. I did cheat on her while she was gone but I did not make any physical contact. I was depressed and an alcaholic at the time so was drunk the entire time because she wouldn't talk 2 me. In the end a friend started flirting with me hard 1 nite over txt. In the end we sent pics back and forth.
When she confronted me she said shed give me another chance. For that next week I kissed her butt and did everything I could to show her how sorry I was and how it wouldn't happen again. That was a monday. The following friday I had a hard  time at my house and a bunch of people left because they decided not to be my friends. I ended up calling my gf to talk to her. I called her 5 time. 3 out of the 5 time it just rang. But the last 2 she would pick up and hang up. I confronted her best friend who knows everything about her. The nite I had planned the date she had gone to a party, gotten drunk and in the end had sex with one of her coworkers. I could feel something was wrong the entire week because I knew she was lying about stuff. She said she was at a friends but when I went by (it was on the way to my house wasn't checking on her) she wasn't there. I didn't say anything to her. I found out that she had been ditching me the entire week to hang out with him and his friends. After we talked on a sat I told her if she wanted to stay with me she couldn't have them in her life except for at work. The next day she broke our date, lied to me and went and hung out with them. I confronted her the next day because I knew she was lying to me. I got her to spil everything. She liked the guy she slept with and said she prob would have done it again down the road if I didn't find out. The way things played out it made it seem like she planned on having sex with him. But she assures me she didn't. Her bestfriend who went to the party with her and left b4 it hapened said she wasn't that drunk and she was flirting with him all night.
My girlfriend said she thought about me twice that nite. B4 she got to the party and the next morning after she slept with him. After a few weeks of trying to make us work We are now on a break. she says she's in love with me but doesn't know if she wants to be with me. She says she needs to not see me in order to miss me to want to be with me. Idk if I can trust her if she wants me back because I can see her running to the guy she cheated with for comfort. And if we do decide to stay and try again after the break, I'm having a hard time dealing with the fact that she liked him, and continued to lie to me after I found everything out. I really want to make things work with her but I need help getting over how she could do it and not think about me or think its wrong until after she did it, and how to get over her liking him. (She was fighting so hard for  abreak when she told me she liked him and I asked if it was sso she could sleep with him again and she said "yes. But so I know how much I need you")
So I'm at a blank. Severly depressed and have to pop pills everynite to fall asleep and not dream about her or what she canbe doing. Thanks.

Answer
The fact that she needs you is a negative, you shouldn't want to be with a person who needs you, you should be with a person who wants you.

Need implies that you give her something that she has to have so she stays with you because you give her that need, while want is better because it means that she wants to be with you because you are who she wants to be with.

She's not a trustworthy person and she has already cheated on you and admits that she will cheat on you again if you stay with her.

I know it will be hard to do but you need to cut her out of your life and try to find a woman that doesn't need you but want you and then try to make it work with her.

This one girl is not the only girl in the world and has already proven that she isn't a person you can rely on, so I suggest you find somebody else and move on with your life.