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How to Deal With Cheaters/My girlfriend told me she cheated and I feel weird now

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Expert: - 3/25/2008


Question
My girlfriend told me that she cheated about a month after she did it. I feel weird and everytime I see her I want to ask her why did she do it. The thing is though that before she told me she talked about the guy trying to make her cheat and she just told him no. But now she told me that she did cheat on me with him. The thing that gets me mad/mad is that he knows me and sees me everyday. She is a friend with his sister and he comes over to her house alot and I'm just scared that she will do it again. I love her and she says that she loves me. I beleive her but how do I suppose to know if its true if she cheated on me? What should I do? She never told me in what way she cheated on me should I ask her?

Answer
Asking someone how they cheated on you is asking for pain and punishment. Asking someone why they cheated on you is natural and you have every right to know why.
You have every right to feel the way that you do. And, she needs to understand that she hurt you and betrayed your trust. If you are willing to forgive, then you need to let it go.
Once trust is broken, making a promise that they will never do it again is not enough. It is possible that they may do it again. And, that is a risk you are taking.
As for the other guy in the picture, he isn't man enough to respect you or your girl's relationship. And, she needs to understand she can have no contact with him. Yes, he may have instigated to cheating. But, your girlfriend allowed it.
You don't need to know HOW she cheated on you. Knowing she cheated is enough. You deserve better. And, if she loved you, she wouldn't have cheated on you. Give her credit for being honest. But, that doesn't mean she's off the hook. Only you can decide whether to forgive her and give her another chance. But, if the other guy is still in the picture, chances are she may do it again. She has proven to be weak. And, you don't need an emotionally weak person in your life. Stay strong and do what is best for you. You really deserve better.
Take care.....
~ M

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Melissa Durazo

Expertise

I will not help you cheat, so please do not ask me how to. If you are having issues with a cheater or suspect your mate of cheating, then, I can help you deal with the issue. I may have the answers on how to confront and deal with a cheating man or woman. I can answer questions concerning the physical and mental anguish that a cheating mate can cause. advise how to move on from this type of relationship. Or, advise on how to forgive and work on fulfilling a new start. I can also help in recognizing the signs and lies of a cheater. As well, as how to catch one in the act.

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I was in a 10 yr. relationship, in which the last 3 years of it was nothing but lies, cheating & emotional abuse. I almost lost my job, my friends and family because I could not let go of this co-dependent relationship. I went through a life changing experience and I came out realizing that I was stronger than I thought I was. I learned that no one is responsible for my happiness and well being. I also learned, that I will make mistakes, I will fall down, but, in the end, it's how I face the problem that will get me through the day.......

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The school of Life. Life is all the education I have ever needed.

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