Expert: Don - 3/17/2008

Question
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and nine months.  One month ago I learned that he had been cheating on me after discovering his myspace page (which he told me he never had one) and viewing certain messages that he had exchanged with a certain female.  Upon viewing her myspace page with detailed pictures and some videos, I learned that the relationship (which even she admitt's was "just to fuck")had lasted for almost this last half year.  I also learned later on through more research that there was at least one other female he was "dating" over the summer.  He says he never really considered it dating because he says he only "f---ed" her twice and almost never saw her so it was "just a fuck" while the other chick was "just a way to get off".  I can tell you, he was getting more than enough from me.  When I confronted him both times about his cheating escapades, he denied them immediately until I showed him the proof on-line.  He insists there were no other women.  He says he always loved me throughout the relationship (and I have to say I always thought we had a good one so this whole thing came to a shock to me) and he says he still does and that I am the one he really wants to be with and wants to marry and is now on his way to purchasing an "engagement" ring.  I am totally confused.  If you really are in love with someone, I don't see how you could even force yourself to sleep with another person.  He says, of course, that it will never happen again.  I asked him why he did i in the first place and he said it was because he thought he would never get caught. Well, putting on a condom I suppose would have been a good idea because now I am facing medical issues due to an STD he gave me which of course, I found out about a month ago...  what do you think?  I can't tell if he is sincere or if these are just more lies.  When I questioned him in the past about certain red flags, he lied to me every single time even though my gut felt differently.  I can't tell anymore.  I do really love him and thought I would be spending the rest of my life with him (after all, he was calling me his "wife" over the last five months-haha) but I really can't seem to get over all of this even though I really am wanting to work it out and stay with him...

Answer
Okay so you want to know if you should get back with a man who cheated on at least twice and possibly more and threatened your health by giving you an STD? There is no way this is a serious question and to be honest you'd have to be the stupidest person on earth to continue to date this man. I'm not saying this to be rude but I feel I need to be blunt with you to make you see how silly it would be for you to continue to be involved with this man.

You know he's a liar and has lied constantly so why do you think all of a sudden he's going stop lying. People don't stop lying after years and years of being a liar, he is a liar and he's going keep lying to you. The only thing staying with him will do is make him think that he can keep cheating on you because even if he gets caught again you aren't going leave him anyway, so you staying with him despite all he is done is only going make him cheat on you and lie to you even more.

Get away from this guy and move on with you life, there is no way that he loves you if he'd constantly lie and cheat on you and if he didn't even have the decency to protect both you and he from disease. Get away from him while you still can.