Expert: Don - 4/4/2008

Question
Don,
I have been married 15 years we have one child 12 years old. My husband cheated on me 10 years ago figured out he loved me and we began working our marriage out. Every since he back his sexual paterns and desires changed , he would want me to perform ways that were uncomfortable to me. The rest of our relationship was fine, I just recently find out that he has cheated again, this time with someone he went to High School with. He claimed he broke it off in February came back home never really apologized just kind of bombarded his way back. It's now April I find out in March they are still seeing one another he comes in late at night and tells me it's none of my business where he has been. I called the other woman and spoke to her and she of course told him that I called. My question is why can't he just leave and stay over there with her and why can't he make up his mind and do you think he will cheat again?

Answer
First off yes he will cheat again only because he has cheated several times in the past and you have done nothing to stop him, you keep letting him come back so he figures that he can do whatever he wants and you won't do anything to stop him.

And the reason he comes back every time is because he wants to have his cake and eat it too. He wants to keep his family together but at the same time have sex with whomever he wants on the side. Why should he give up his mistress if he knows he can have both. And plus it's probably easier to go out on cheat on then then get a divorce and a lot cheaper.

If you want him to stop cheating and leave you alone, you need to stop letting him back in the house. Leave him for good and end your marriage, if you don't he's going continue to think it's okay to cheat on you and do whatever he wants.