Expert: Melissa Durazo - 4/22/2008

Question
Hello,

I've noticed something. I've seen that very very sexy men, such as those guys that are typically 'players' or 'womanizers' have tons of experience with women. They are incredibly intelligent and are extremely clever and cunning as to how to deal with the ladies, and tell women exactly what they want to hear so that girls fall madly in love with them. These men are always high profile and high powered. They are doctors, lawyers, CEOs, actors, famous musicians, etc. Since they are so incredibly good looking and so suave and smooth, they go to a bar and get laid every single night. Or at least they come back with tons of numbers of willing women. So they bed tons of amazing hot sexy girls.

But I have noticed something. When they go for a serious relationship, the women they date tend to be very plain. They are boring, naive, too happy and trusting, not too bright, very average, not terribly career oriented, content with being a 'housewife' type, not making much money, and not having a whole lot to offer.

It seems strange to me that these men, who can get ANY gorgeous, intelligent, amazing woman they desire, end up settling down with Plain Jane.

Why is that?

Also...the other thing is...when they marry the 'Plain Jane' they always keep on cheating on her for the rest of their life with the hot, sexy girls from before. They never stop. They always have several women to bang on the side.

I dont understand it. If Plain Jane does not satisfy them sexually and bores them emotionally/intellectually, then why do they bother marrying these girls? why didn't they go for the amazing hot smart fun girl they could have easily had? is it because she is too smart and will have figured him out?

Why is that? Can you explain this phenomenon?

thank you :)

Answer
Well, I'm not a gorgeous woman....lol.....but, being that I was dumped for a very un-pretty woman a few years back - which my ex is still with today, it does make people say,"WTF????".....How does this phenomena work??....:P
Men, are very special when it comes to picking the women they are going to end up with. It is all about chemistry and attraction. A lot of unattractive women have charm and some who tend to look naive, rarely aren't. Beautiful women tend to fawn over handsome men.....A plain Jane doesn't. And, as smart as beautiful women are, if they are an easy sell, the guy will go after it, whether he is attached to someone else or not. Of course, men cheat on their beautiful wives/girlfriends, with equally beautiful women....
Plain women, tend to be caregivers and problem solvers......They may form a sort of structured lifestyle that the man is lacking. For all his philandering ways, when he comes home, all is waiting for him and he doesn't have to worry about things getting done.
Beautiful women, are very independent and aloof and they it takes plenty of hard work to look beautiful. Men adore beauty. As well as conventional looks......All it takes is someone who isn't too into him and it will make him wonder why. Men are vain. And, if they are use to a minimum amount of "adoration" from women a few times a day. A women who isn't too wowed by him is going to turn his head.
That is the only difference between a beautiful girl and a plain Jane. The Plain Jane isn't afraid to be who she is and the beautiful girl hides behind her make-up, designer clothes and hair, producing a superficial person.......The Plain Jane has to work harder than the beauty in the player department, but, it doesn't mean she can't compete against the beauty.
Actually, in most relationships that I've known or seen, the majority of the times a man has cheated, it has been with the uninteresting girl at the office. The quiet girl who seems she has nothing to offer. And, those are the most dangerous ones.....At the very least, the beautiful girl will make it obvious that she is after your man. The
unattractive one won't even tell her best friend about it.
So, yes, handsome men who end up with unattractive women is an enigma....lol....And, although, men do tend to cheat on them, it is rare that their men will ever leave them. The way men tend to leave their beautiful woman for another beautiful woman....
Plus, rich men tend to trust their unattractive women more than beautiful women with their finances.....Because they know the less beautiful woman won't spend it the way the beauty will. When have you ever seen a frumpy beauty married to a rich guy??? NEVER......!! :P
The lesser beauty tends to look plainer and less inhibited..More put together.....And, that counts for something....She can manage the household and still dress somewhat respectable.
Well, I'm as confused as you are in regards to this.....But,in the end, I think it all has to do with good old fashion chemistry......
~ M