Expert: Melissa Durazo - 4/16/2008

Question
I'm 24 and last year I married a man that got me pregnant and started to cheat and mentally/physically abuse me. Due to his physical abuse I lost my first child, and had to go throught extensive therapy. I finally divorced him in December, and started a new relationship with a childhood male friend of mine. For about 5 months everything was great. We had arguments but nothing out of the ordinary. Well when we started seeing each other he didn't have a job and he was living at home with his mother. Now after 7 months, we live together, and we have recently found out I am pregnant.For the last two months he has had a job a a nearby factory. I know what goes on in factories with nasty women, so when he got a job their we talked about if he was ready for the job. He promised me that he loved me more than that and that only men that want to cheat go into factories and cheat. Well, two days ago he left his new cellular phone at home, and I went through the call logs and text messages. There is a chick in the phone that he has been texting and he even said I Love you to the chick. When I confrunted him about it first he blew up. Then he left the house for two hours and came back with this story about somebody he let use his phone was texting her. I know I have been through this cheating thing before with my husband. It seems that after you are pregnant men change. I don't know if I should leave him before the baby is born. But I do know that I don't believe his story about someone else using his phone. Can you give me some advice?

Answer
It's not that men change every time you get pregnant....You just keep picking the wrong men at the wrong time in your life and continuing with the same cycle.....
You should have never gotten involved in another relationship so soon after your divorce. And, you could have taken precautions not to get pregnant.....
There is not doubt your current man is cheating on you....And, having his child isn't going to make him change or stay with you...
I think you should really consider being on your own....Yes, it's going to be tough with a child on the way. But, you have no other alternative. Unless, your man decides to go straight and take care of you and his baby.
No matter how hard things get, it is always better to face things on your own than to depend on ohers. You don't want to bring your baby into another bad relationship, right?
Talk to your man, if he refuses to change....I suggest you start surrounding yourslef with friends and family who love you and send him packing......I think you have physically, mentally & emotionally had enough.....
Good luck.....And, take care!
~ M