Expert: Melissa Durazo - 4/28/2008

Question
Do you think it's appropriate for a people involved in a relationship to be socializing one-on-one with people of the opposite sex? My girlfriend decided to go to the movies with a guy she met at school. She says they're just friends, and I trust here, but I know the guy asked her out on a date before he knew she was in a relationship. I think that is totally disrespectful to me and extremely inappropriate. What do you think?

Answer
There is nothing wrong with having friends of the opposite sex.....Having brunch or lunch with the guy would have been ok - after all, friends are fine as long as it doesn't cross the line and all parties are fine with this....But, a movie? Yes, it is inappropriate and very strange that your girlfriend would even think of accepting that outing. She is putting herself in a position for this guy to think that he may have a chance with her, especially since he knows you're in the picture.
There is no rule that forbids anyone having friends of the opposite sex......But, there has to be boundaries as to what type of outings are acceptable. Would she appreciate it if you took a female you just met at work out for dinner, because you're friends? I don't think so.....
Although, I don't believe you have been disrespected, I do believe the outing was inappropriate.....Perhaps, they should have included you and he could have brought a date or another friend.......
Your girlfriend, may not have thought she did something wrong.....So, you need to explain to her that any future movie dates are very uncomfortable for you and that you would like to get to know this guy a little better. Since, your girl does consider him a friend.
Good luck!
~ M