Expert: Melissa Durazo - 4/8/2008

Question
in my thinking he has cheated, he went out with his workmates got absoultely drunk, he says he does not remember any of it... we went to his friends' house and was looking through office party photos, and discovered a pic with him and the office slut kissing togehter...

i trusted him, i can not believe what i saw, i am really upset and down, but he feels disgusted and down about it too, he says that he discovered that he kissed that girl at the same moment we were going through photos together...

he has been distant and depressed and cold towards me for the last 3 days ever since we both discoverd the pic.

i dontknow what to do, i dont know how i can trust him again...

Answer
If this is a first time offense for your boyfriend, and he truly doesn't remember it happening.......Then, it is up to you to decide whether or not you forgive him. If he is distant and cold towards you, it could mean, that he truly does feel disgusted. But, becoming distant isn't going to help things, either. Obviously, the lesson here is that he can't take his alcohol at a social office gathering. And, next time, he needs to be responsible for his alcohol consumption.
Yes, he has cheated on you......And, I am sure it was quite shocking to see that picture. And, although, a picture says a thousand words, sometimes, all isn't what it seems. Has he ever given you a reason to believe he has cheated on you before? Have there been warning signs previously? Has he been acting strange towards you before the picture was discovered. You need to take into consideration all the things prior to the picture.
Yes, he has lost your trust. It is up to him to fix it now. But, if you are willing to stay with him. You must be willing to forgive his mistake and never mention it again. Don't forget what he did, just move on and be a little bit more cautious and wiser the next time. If he keeps using alcohol as an excuse for his "forgettable" behavior more often than not. Then, you have a problem and he is a liar and a cheat.
Talk to each other, calmly. Figure out what you both want out of your relationship and attempt to work it out. And, next time there is a social gathering, the least he could is bring you along so something like this doesn't happen, again.
Good luck.....Hope I helped a bit.
~ M