Expert: Don - 4/22/2008

Question
Hi there.  I have just recently broken up with my fiance Mike.  Our relationship started when I was 17, he was 18 and I had just started working at the same workplace as he did.  My mother also worked there, and warned me to stay away from him.  She said that he was a real charmer.  His previous girlfriend was with him at the time, called Holly.  She also worked there, she was a real nutbar, not very attractive at all.  And the first thing she was telling me was to keep away from him etc, as if she was afraid I might steal him.  I discovered a long time later that apparently he had been cheating on Holly with another workmate, Letisha, more than once.  So when he broke up with Holly, I started falling for him.  He invited me to the beach one afternoon, we shared our first kiss. Started dating etc.  At first my parents were reluctant to accept him, but eventually did.  Then after about a month, we argued all the time about little things, I suspected he liked Letisha still, and he dumped me by text.  When we had broken up, a few weeks later on MSN we started talking and I discovered he broke up with me because he had started having feelings for Letisha again (the girl he had been cheating with) while with Holly.  He said that I also made a big dent in his heart too and he couldn't decide what to do.  So i said he had too chose, and he chose me after some deliberation... We have been together two years since, very happily (although I still had trust issues as he remained friends with Letisha) and he proposed a few months back.  I said yes and we moved to a new town and went flatting.  This was a few weeks ago, while I started studying at university. However a close-ish friend of mine came to stay with me and Mike when she had parent problems, until she could sort out a new flat in the area.  I went back home for the uni holidays for a week, and got back home a week later.  I learnt from another friend who had found out that Mike and my friend had hooked up 3 times, after drinking one evening.  They were making little dares up on paper, some he wrote said things like "kiss the person beside you" and "have you ever kissed a partners friend before".  both mike and my friend claimed they only kissed 3 times, but the thing that baffled me was that the next day after this had all happened my guilty friend confessed the full story (he didn't give me all the details, he claimed he was too scared to tell me as it would hurt me) and she had showed me a text where he had written "what would you do If I came home and kissed you" (he was at work the next day when he sent it).  And apparently she said no.  When i confronted him about it he said he only sent it "out of curiosity" to see what she'd say, not because he wanted anything to happen.  I left him and went to live on the university campus.  The days before he moved back home and I moved to the campus we were really close though, and spent a few last nights together as I missed him, and I had told him we need to move on, but we will always love each other.  He seemed so genuinely upset to have ruined the relationship.  But i said he should move home anyway.  So we have kept in touch texting, and he seems to be trying really hard to apologize and get another chance.  He sent texts at 3 or 4 in the morning constantly, regretting the things he's done, how he "can't live without me" etc.  Should I give him another chance, or do you think he's just not worth it?
I want us to work but the trust issues would come up, and my friends and family I know would never approve.
Help!

Answer
I don't think he's worth another chance. He's already proven on more than one occasion in the past that he is a cheat. He cheated on his previous girlfriend Holly with this girl Letisha. Then he dumped you for Letisha only for the two of you to get back together and then he cheated on you with one of your friends. How could you possibly ever trust a man who has already done these things to you. His actions should show you that he isn't a man that you should be with because he can't control himself and not cheat on whomever he is dating.

If I were you I would end this relationship and move on with your life.