Expert: Melissa Durazo - 5/3/2008

Question
Dear Melissa,
I had found out two days ago that my boyfriend was cheating on me at the start of our relationship! and it was my friend who he had cheated with! it was only a kiss and it was a one time event although they had been flirting online and on the phone for awhile! without me knowing ofcourse! he never belived i had actually agreed to date him in the first palce! he always said he doesnt belive it and that he feels really really lucky to be with me! anyhow after that one time event kiss which had happend with one of my girlfriends who is my boyfriends best friends girlfriend! she came onto him i know that for a fact since she had always liked him! but he never liked her! he just needed something to boost up his ego! after that one kiss he had stoped talking to her since he had regreted what he had done! they both never told me what had happend and went on as normal! through the next month me and my boyfriend had become so close he addmited he felt like he was falling inlove for one of the first times! he would then start crying randomly saying he is scared to lose me and that he loves me and how lucky he feels to have me! he wouldnt stop going on about those sort of things for two months! when i had found out i talked to him and he said it had never happend and i chose to belive him since i trusted him! friends kept telling me that it DID happen and that he was lying! stories i had been told began to sound similar and i was confused i talked to him and he cried and said it wasnt true! i talked to the girl who he had kiss to see if it were actually true and at first she lied but then came out with the truth! he then cried even more and told all the people who came up to him that it was over and that he was finished! i hadnt ended it yet but he thought i had! i found him at school somewhere sitting and crying and so i talked to him and told him how i had felt and he told me he loved me and that he was sorry and he never meant for it to happen! i decided to give him a second chance but then changed my mind and broke up with him since he was pressuring to forgive him! and so i ended it and he begged for another chance but i said it wasnt working out for me! and so we are broken up! and he had lost his best friend since he was mad at him for kissing his girlfriend! and now people think bad of him for doing what he had done and no one wants to talk or be with him!
he keeps coming up to me online and askng me to help repair his image! at first he talked about (us) and missing me but he had stoped and although  i dont want to get back together i wish i knew he still loved me and cared about me!

i want to move on but im hurt!
should i have given him a second chance?
or is it better off this way and i should move on?

Answer
It is obvious that you want to move on.....Leave things the way are......It's over....And, you are doing the right thing. Plus, his behavior is not healthy....It's co-dependent....You did the right thing...Move on....You're too young to deal with all this drama.....
The hurt will always be there, but, in time, it will fade.....And, you are going to be ok....He messed up and is now trying to make you feel bad about it....Just keep doing what you're doing...BE STRONG........
You really did the right thing by moving on.....
Good luck....
~ M