Expert: Melissa Durazo - 5/14/2008

Question
Last October, my girlfriend of 3 and a half years broke up with me out of the blue. I was at the lowest point in my life. We had a very loving and caring relationship, and she was easily a girl I could picture marrying (we're both 20).

She started dating another guy less than a month later, and was just recently dumped by him.

We've been talking an awful lot since her latest breakup, and she's hinted several times at wanting to get back together. I've made it clear to her that she needs to figure herself out and just stay single (wanting to avoid a rebound situation).

I still care about this girl so much, and I am considering getting back with her one day. However, she told me recently she has something she needs to tell me. She did something in the final months of our relationship that made her feel suicidal and disgusted with herself (cheating, no?).

I've told her I'm not ready to hear it yet, as I need time to prepare myself for the worst. She wants to be 100% honest and open about everything she's done, and she seems to be living in a world of constant regret (breaking up with me, rebound guy, cheating).

Cheating has always been my worst fear, I fear for the worst. I can easily see myself loving this girl again sometime in the future, but I don't know if I can love someone who has cheated on me. I've always had zero tolerance for cheating, and she knows this.

I know that in the end, it's really just up to me to make the call. I guess I'm just looking for reassurance.

Answer
There you have it....You just stated that you have zero tolerance for cheating.....SO, prepare yourself to make a decision if the latter proves to be true.....
Remember, since she just got dumped, you don't want to be rebound guy, either.....And, remember, something that was good the first time around, doesn't mean it is going to be as sweet the second time......You can never get back what you once had....You can only build from it......Hear her out and make your decision. And, stay firm to your beliefs & convictions....
Good luck....
~ M