Expert: Melissa Durazo - 5/4/2008

Question
I have been with the same man for 7 years. The day before Valentines Day he decided to end the relationship. It would be a lie to say that things were not going well for a while and at that point and time it seemed to him like the best thing to do. Since the day I meet him, he has been the most amazing friend, boyfriend and lover. The love we have for one another has always stayed strong, even in separation.

Soon after the that infamous day, I got this feeling that he was with someone. I ended checking his text messages only to find that there is someone. The thing is that I love him and that he loves me and that he is having sex with another girl…a girl that is 21 years old…10 years younger than him!

I have moved out since and frankly do not want to talk to him or see him. I know that he wants us to work things out, he said so; taking time apart to be a better couple someday…maybe.

Yes, I consider this cheating because we had just separated, I was still living there, he lied, he denied, he hid, he broke my heart.

This is the first time this happens to me. I don’t know how to get passed this…whether we are together in the end or remain friends. My confidence and self esteem are low, I lost the most important thing that keeps couples together…trust.

I am so afraid that going back to him; this would happen again.

How do people forgive…forget…live happy

Chan


Answer
He needs to move on & so do you. You need to be on your own,. Away from him. He disrespected you and took advantage of your trust. And. hid the fact that he broke up with you to be with someone else. I am pretty sure he was seeing this other girl before he broke up with you.
And, as hard as it is going to be, you need to move on. It is best to leave each other alone. And, don't fall back into his lies....Remember, if he really cared about you, he would have never hurt you and he would have never moved on so soon......And, who knows, perhaps, he will realize that you are the one for him...But, he isn't going to see that if you keep hanging on to him....He needs to see that he is missing out, not the other way around......Be strong and stand your ground. If you take him back so easily, he is going to think he can keep doing this to you.....So demand respect!
Good luck....
~ M