How to Deal With Cheaters/dealing with cheating?

Advertisement

Expert: - 5/6/2008


Question
I have been cheated on alot in my past relationships and I am dating this new girl and I really care about her alot, but she is going on vacation to Panama and I am really freaking out something will happen. I mean I trust her but it is so scary with all the times i have been cheated on and I feel like I may push her away by getting worried over it. I don't want my past to affect my future with her but it is so hard. I almost want to just end it so that I know I won't get her but, I am very happy with this relationship.  What should I do?

Answer
Unless, she has given you a reason to mistrust her...Your past issues have nothing to do with her and she shouldn't suffer for that......If you are truly happy with her.....Trust her and let her have a good time.....If you can't let go of this mistrust, then you aren't ready to be in a relationship....Plain & simple.......
You are only going to hurt yourself & her with your mistrust......
If you can't trust her, let her go and stop wasting her time.....And, start to work on yourself & your fears......You need to heal your heart first before you can love and trust another.....
Good luck....
~ M

How to Deal With Cheaters

All Answers

Answers by Expert:

Ask Experts

Volunteer

Melissa Durazo

Expertise

I will not help you cheat, so please do not ask me how to. If you are having issues with a cheater or suspect your mate of cheating, then, I can help you deal with the issue. I may have the answers on how to confront and deal with a cheating man or woman. I can answer questions concerning the physical and mental anguish that a cheating mate can cause. advise how to move on from this type of relationship. Or, advise on how to forgive and work on fulfilling a new start. I can also help in recognizing the signs and lies of a cheater. As well, as how to catch one in the act.

Experience

I was in a 10 yr. relationship, in which the last 3 years of it was nothing but lies, cheating & emotional abuse. I almost lost my job, my friends and family because I could not let go of this co-dependent relationship. I went through a life changing experience and I came out realizing that I was stronger than I thought I was. I learned that no one is responsible for my happiness and well being. I also learned, that I will make mistakes, I will fall down, but, in the end, it's how I face the problem that will get me through the day.......

Education/Credentials
The school of Life. Life is all the education I have ever needed.

©2012 About.com, a part of The New York Times Company. All rights reserved.