Expert: Melissa Durazo - 5/10/2008

Question
I met a man on an internet dating site about 4 months ago.
He seems like an honest and polite person.
There are many issues that leave me wondering about his sincerity. He shows up very late at my house. We rarely go out on a date. He sleeps overnight and leaves very early am to go "on jobs". He never has taken me out for a weekend date. He has so very many excuses for being late, not showing up, etc. He claims he is sick a lot and he does sound sick on the phone.
He is 64, I am 71.
He is either a good actor and liar or he is telling the truth.
He told me he loved me after only a few dates.
He "claims" his wife died 6 years ago.
I looked his wife up on the Social Security Death Index and her name does not come up. All my family or friends who have passed away are on this site.
My question is: Do you think he is lying?
How can I find out if his wife is alive or dead?
She might be in a nursing home here in NC.
He claims she died of cancer 6 years ago, but now I wonder.
I don't have enough money to pay for a background check.
Thank you for any advice!


Answer
Well, you may want to sit down and have a serious discussion with him. As far as his suspicious actions, he has to come clean with you.
Stressing yourself over it is just going to upset you more.....You are both mature adults and I am sure that if you both talk about where this relationship is going, he will be honest with you......
Perhaps, you may want to ask a mutual acquaintance about his past.....
I am sure, you must know someone, who may have known him & his wife......
Good luck.....
~ M