Expert: Don - 5/26/2008

Question
I've been with my boyfriend for over a year now, and I love him. When we first met, it was like fireworks; we saved each other. In the beginning it was a fantastic relationship, and even though he didn't have any money he wrote me songs and poems and called me his "red dwarf" which a really nerdy astronomy-related pet name. We spent almost every day together for a year, even after he lost his job and financial responsibility suddenly fell to me, and I was beginning to think he was the person I could spend the rest of my life with. Except that lately we fight all the time-- i feel unappreciated, he thinks I'm crazy--and money is becoming a huge strain, among other problems. And then, out of nowhere somehow my ex (and first love) that never entirely left the picture is now back in it and I'm falling for him again. I haven't done anything with him, but I can feel myself moving precariously closer towards him and . . . i don't know. I'm looking for some magical online guru I guess, so please just point me in the first direction that comes to your mind because its probably better than what i've got, because in my opinion the ability to love two people simultaneously is a cruel joke from God.

Answer
I don't think it's even possible to love to people at the same time, I think you're just going through a rough time with your boyfriend and it's easier for you to gravitate to your ex and think you love him then to fix the problems that you have with your current boyfriend.

If you want me to point you in the right direction, I can't do that only you can know what is the right way for you to go, I can only offer you this advice, choose one of these guys to be with and let the other guy go, the longer you try to hold on to both the more likely it will be that everybody involved is going get hurt.

I know it's going be hard to pick but you have to do it, and to make it easier, just pick the guy who you think will make you happy, there must have been some problem with your ex or he wouldn't be your ex and the two of you would have never broken up and at the same time I see you and the current guy are having problems to but is that about his lack of money and job or is about the real feelings the two of you have for each other.

I don't have a magical answer, you just have to follow your heart, one of these guys is right for you, just choose the one that fits you best.