Expert: Don - 6/27/2008

Question
Nine years ago I became the best of friends w/ a man in which after 3 years, we decided to date. It only lasted a couple of months & then ended very badly because I was a complete bitch to him and treated him like crap. We didn't speak for about 4 years however would occasionally see each other as he & my brother are friends (therefore we always knew what was going on in each others lives). There was always a lot of tension & awkwardness until 2 years ago, when we were finally able to sit down one night after a few drinks & talk about things - what had happened, etc & by the end of the night, we were laughing etc. We started to hang out together and after about a month of doing so, he told me that he broke up with his girlfriend of 3? years (mother of his child who was pregnant with their second). So things moved very quickly for us, we fell in love all over again etc etc and started dating shortly thereafter.  Six months later I find out he never broke up with her.  I stayed with him, under the pretenses that he was choosing me, blah blah blah.  So to make a long story short, this has gone on the entire two years basically and now we are at the point where we are living together (although not all of his belongings are at our house) and I have talked to her and she said they are done but I just don't know how to think or what to feel at this point.  I love him and want things to work out between us and think that they really could or will as long as he is done lying and cheating.  Any advice/input?

Answer
I wouldn't believe for a second he is done lying or cheating and to be honest why should he stop. You let him date his ex and you at the same for over 2 years, so why do you think he'll stop dating other women if he knows you'll stay with him even if he cheats. You've put yourself and him in a situation where he knows that he can pretty much do whatever it wants when it comes to other woman and you'll put up with it, so I don't see how you could all of a sudden expect him to go on the straight and narrow and not cheat.