Expert: Don - 6/28/2008

Question
I have been with my ex boyfriend for the last three years on a on and off basis. We have been together properly for the last year and a half. About a month and a half ago i received a phone call from another gril saying asking who I was becuase she saw some texts on her boyfriends phone, I had to let her know he was my boyfriend and had been for the last three years, she told me they had been together for the last three months. I confronted him and at first he didnt want to talk to me but was trying to talk to her which hurt me even more. When he decided he was ready a couple of hours later he called me sayin he was scared because he couldnt face me and what he had done. He kept sayin he was sorry and that it was a mistake and he wanted us to try again but i told him no.
About a week after i found out i went to talk to him for him to explain why he did it and how he could ever do it to me as a couple of weeks before i got pregnant but had a miscarrage so i was still hurting from that and to know that while i was hurting he was cheating on me with an 18 year old girl while he is 25 years old (im 22). Anyway i went to see him and we spoke and i told him i didnt want anything to do with him after what he had done.
A couple of days later he kept calling me and i refused to answer until he called me off someone elses phone and in talking to him i gave in. We started talking over the phone he was calling me everyday, i went to his house to see him and we ended up sleeping together it started to feel like he was my boyfriend again my feelings started to over ride common sense, in all this i felt stupid but i love him so much i felt like i wanted to forgive him. I ended up sleeping with him three time after we broke up and the second time i went to spend the weekend with him he left me in his house while he went out to get us something to eat, i found some letters from someone he had slpet with wile he was on holiday while we were together. I asked him about it and obviously he denied it and said tne letters were before he even knew me which was a lie. This was the final straw for me i told him to leave me alone and get ut of my life. After this he didnt call me for about a week which i was ok with because i knew the only way to get rid of him is to cut him off completely, a week after i told him this he started calling me again he just wont give me the space and time to get over him he told me that he will be in my life forever and that there is no way he can just cut me off. I cant deal with this because i love him even though he denies it i know he is sleeping around and the thought of what he has done to me kills me because i love him so much i really dont know what to do. Now we are talking everday and he claims we are friends but he constantly wants me to come and see him and each time i do this we end up sleeping together. I know that he possibly thinks that he has won and he has the upper hand cuase after all he has done i keep coming back to him but no matter how hard i try he just doeant give me the chance to get over him and i dont think he wants me to, how do i get this boy out of my head my heart and my life?

Answer
You need to stop letting him manipulate you and put your foot down. If you really want to cut him out then you need to realize that he doesn't really love you because if he did he wouldn't have a need to sleep with all these other women he is involving himself with, you would be all he needed.

So really put your foot down and ignore him completely, no matter what don't take his calls, if he calls you from a friend's phone and you hear his voice hang up immediately. And if he really won't leave you alone, tell him you'll call the cops if he won't stop harassing him. But before you do all these things you have to mean it, he's going keep coming back as long as you let him. If you really want him gone then make him disappear but really cutting him out of your life and not just saying you will.