Expert: Don - 6/23/2008

Question
QUESTION: look, i recently got back wit my ex.. she cooked 4 me and gave me a place 2 stay when times was rough... the reason we broke up in the first place was because she got really boring and we stopped talking for 6.mo, to make a long story short 2.mo after we went back together a friend introduced me to her cousin. she is more attractive and we have more stuff in common than me and my girl, plus she has the same name. BUT i would feel ashamed if i left my girl 4 the second time. She did everything 4 me! HELP ME

ANSWER: Hey man you have to follow your heart and can't let some sense of loyalty make you stay in a relationship you aren't happy in. It's more hurtful to your ex to stay with her for the wrong reasons then it would be to break up with her if you aren't really happy with her. If you stay with her just because you feel you owe her, you're going to end up resenting her and in the end cause her more pain then if you just let her go now.

Don't stay in a relationship just because, go where you will be happy.

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QUESTION: wow, right on point... okay #1 is out the way so here is #2... how would i explain this because we talked about future plans, kids at 25, senior prom, marrage, apartments, cars im cool wit the family, to tell you the truth that might hurt the most.. even though she dosent make me happy i somehow i have feelings 4 her... how should i approach her?      »MORG

ANSWER: I'm kind of confused by this question, are you asking me how you should break it off with your ex or how you should approach the second girl, please clarify so I can answer this properly

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: my ex. i got the second girl under control. but my ex (the first girl) she will be hurt the most and i don't know how to approach her. my mind has been bouncing back and forth because my ex is hard working, faithfull, smart, and atractive sometimes but the other girl is extremly atrractive funny and shares the same intrest and relates more..  i guess my true question is which one should i choose?

Answer
You should pick the one that makes you happier, whichever one you actually enjoy being around the most.

As far as what to tell the ex, just tell her that you don't want to hurt her by leading her on and letting her think that the two of you could have a future together, so it's better to let her go now then lie to her and lead her on.