Expert: Don - 8/8/2008

Question
I've been married for 5 years with my husband. He is a a couple of years older then me and much more experienced then me sexually he has had a lot of sexual partners and i haven't. A year a go we were having a lot of arguments and we grew very distant. I found a condom in his wallet and a phone number of a girl hidden under his best friends name, i could never prove anything but i split up with him for a couple of months, as i was truly heartbroken that he could do this to me. He never admitted that he was seeing someone alse, and told me lies after lies that never made any sense, contradicted himself completly and i lost trust completely. However i still love him and he has showed me that he was really heartbroken about us splitting up and we eneded up toghther again. Not trusting him i set up a profile on the internet ona site we both use and emailed him suggesting drinks and maybe something naughtier under a false name, he replied to my messages and suggested we'd meet up the weekend i was supposed to be away. He did this the only night out without me he took. I confronted him straight away as i am not really good at keeping feelings to myself and he said he knew it was me and wanted to message me back just to make sure it was me. Of course i dont belive him but i havent left him and i havent gone any further with this. I love him but i also know that he tells me what i want to hear and that he takes my good heart and plays with it as he wishes. We have a daugheter toghether who is only 2 and half, i know in my heart that i cannot trust him and i am always checking his phone whenever i can also the web history on our computer as i just cannot trust any thing he says. I know that eventually i will have to leave him because i think he will always do this to me no matter how much i suffer.
Should i leave him? He just wont admit anything i have begged him he just tells me lies and turns every conversation we have around so that he sounds right and i sound paranoid.
Help please.

Answer
I think definitely if you feel you can not trust him ever then yes you should leave him. You're never going to have a happy life if you have to constantly worry about what your husband may or may not be up to.

It's better for you to have a life apart from him then one where you will drive yourself crazy checking on what he is doing and wondering if he may be cheating or not.