Expert: Melissa Durazo - 9/5/2008

Question
im a 15 yr. old whtie male i go to high school still my freashmen year and my girl friend [disa] ive known for about 2 almost 3 yrs. ive had some amazing times with her but we've been through alot we have had sex for about 3 or 4 times now and are starting to get little more sexual with the realationship but with my real mother my father walked out on me when i was born but yet my mom was 16 and so was he so i have never meet my father before but ne ways we have been dating on and off constintly for the past 2-3 years and i love her very dearly this is actually the one realationship were i havent screwd up yet but we have been dating almsot 2 months and this might sound stupid to you since im only 15 and your proballymroe worried about the marrige stuff but i used to be able to get into long term-realtions like 6-12 months but with my first and longist one i was cheatedon twice in 2 years
when i went to souting and upnorth in 2 weeks my old ex gf nikkie always cheated on me but since then witch was about 2.3 years ago i have never had arealationship last longer than 1 month but now that me and disa are coming to 2 months on the 12th i don't know what to do with my mother and i i can very easily be hurt with thigns liek cheating and affairs and im am very tender hearted when i get into a nice realationship they mean the world to mei would do anything to protect them forom harms way butabout last week friday augast 29th my gf went out with her friends to a party that she didn't tell me about she said she was in town with her friends and i was out getting sleep for a fair tommrwo with my best budddy ian but we were in a fight for some reason where i can't remember at this point but here s the main thing my first day of school last hour i was tlaking to one of her ex friends kenzie witch she was with her that night and she acme to me and told me that disa had sex with a 20 year old guy and much mroe they did 68 blow job he ate her out they did everyting and me and her havent done blowjob or i havent d ate her out and nethir 69 but when i foudn this out i told her after school that i wanted to talk to her in person but i ended up calling her later that night talking to her just before the day  i was going ot talk to her and when she called me she told "is it about the thing that happend in appleton?"
then i said ya and thier and then she admitted that she did it but she didn't want me to know at all, 2 days later iwent to her house to talk with her andi havent cried over a realationship in alnog tiem lnog long long time aobut 1.5-2 yrs ago and she came over shut off hte t.v. cause she saw it in my eyes that i was thinkign and she came over sat in my lap and ask me whats wrong their and then i grabbed her and hugged her and start crying and then i asked her "did i do anythign wrong?" she looked me dead in the eye and told me that i didn't and then we ended up talkign some more and later she got pissed off at me for pushing this on her i mean i love more than the world she means evertything to me id die for her and idk what to do anymore i can hardly look at her anymore nad everytime i see her i jsut get sad but she said that she screwd up and she cant witch she cant doa nythign about it and witc she cant i know very well deep down she loves me just as much but idk what to do anymore its like i wanna curl up in a ball and cry pelase help me to do the write thing!

sincerely
Spiczenski Devin Micheal
p.s. sorry for the long message

Answer
This is a lot for me to take in and give advise. Because you are in such a volatile state of mind. And, you seem to be in a lot of hurt and confusion. I have 2 teenage boys a little older than you and as a parent, I feel helpless when I see them struggling in their relationships with their girlfriends. Sometimes, some relationships aren't healthy for us,, no matter what age we are......The best thing, even though it hurts, is to just walk away and learn from the experience so that next time you are stronger to deal with situation.
I recommend that you call a teen hotline.....BoysTown Hotline 1-800-448-3000, the hotline is open 24hrs a day and 7 days a week........They can help you out with any type of problem you may have. And, it's confidential......I'm sorry I can't answer your question the way you would want me to.....It just sounds to me that you really need someone to talk to about how you feel. You shouldn't have to feel this way over someone who really doesn't deserve you.....You shouldn't even be worrying about relationships right now....You should be enjoying your friends and your youth....
Take care and please call the hotline....Or, talk to a counselor at school or your parents, if you have a close relationship with them......Or, a best friend....You shouldn't have to go through this alone.
Take care......
~ M