Expert: Elise - 11/23/2009

Question
QUESTION: I am dating this guy that I like, we have been on and off for about 5 months now and a few weeks ago we finally made it official.  There are sometimes when i really want to be with him, but a lot of the time i get really annoyed by him and just want to be alone.  I kind of feel like I've been stringing him along for a while, and if i break up with him, I'm going to look like the bad guy...again.  Is there any way to get him to cheat on me? He's a really nice guy and that's why i think this would be difficult for him to do.  I know that sounds bad, but this would just make things easier i guess.

Thanks!

ANSWER: mmmm well to make a guy cheat, you really need a girl on the inside to seduce him. Usually either a guy is a cheater or he isn't, but that normally has to do with a lack of respect for you rather than simply not putting out. On the other hand, most can't resist it if its right in his face.
Even if you do get him to cheat and then you bust him... you kind of have to expect human nature to take over there. If he's a nice guy he will probably cling on even tighter and make it harder to get rid of... and cry a lot.

But you know... They say women go into a relationship expecting him to change, men go into a relationship expecting she never will.
What I've found works best, and without heartbreak, is to flip the script. Change 360. Whatever you do now do the opposite.

With men and women, they love affection, but they can't stand rejection. If your already acting annoyed with him you might find a lot of his clingy behavior is trying to win your affection back. The goal isn't to reject him, but make him reject you.

If your normally real chilled out start being dramatic and crying a lot. Let him see you before makeup. Stuff like that.

For me I always go into a relationship with a bit of detachment then to get rid of them I turn it around and get really clingy. They run in like a week. Nothing scares them like "but I love you" with a runny nose.

So tell me a little about yourself and this guy - maybe we can come up with a plan?

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: well I'm easy going, when i get into a relationship, i just want it to be relaxed and fun. him not looking to be tied down.  this guy is very nice, treats me well. he is always there when something happens.  but that it.  he doesn't make this exciting, our relationship has become almost like a routine.  talk at the same time everyday about nothing.  we are more like best friends rather than an actual couple.  he has seen me upset, and wouldn't be freaked out if i started crying or something.

Answer
Really simple. Just start stirring things up. Make up something about someone seeing him with a girl - but refuse to give a name.. Cry a lot. Text him every spare second you get, love him to death one moment and yell at him the next.  You can't ever trust him again, then talk about this Phil Collins song you want at your wedding. You hate the shirt he wore today... then come up with baby names.

The bonus here is, even though your giving him a roller coaster ride, he's going to avoid drama like the plague in future relationships. This isn't something that can ruin him at love you know? He will be really confused but in the end say that he is better off.

Won't take 2 weeks to shake him... Of course there will be this guy out there that thinks your crazy. Every now and again I will run into one at the grocery, and I cue in who ever is my company is on the joke. It's usually pretty funny seeing the guy freeze like his pants are down then run. I'll even stalk him down the isles for a while just to have fun with it.

Just make sure this is what you want... and not just that you are past the honeymoon and throwing away someone who is a good match to you. I don't mean a good man because there are millions of them. I mean someone who is actually a good match to you. Those are hard to find.