Expert: Melissa Durazo - 3/21/2009

Question
Well I've been with my boyfriend on and off for about a year. When we first broke up, six months after dating, I just asked him if we could take a break for a month or two just to get my head away from the relationship thing. When we talked he tried everything to get me not to make this choice he couldn't even handle a few months apart. As time went on the break lasted a little more than 4 months and i found myself always wanting to be around him again, so we got back together. Now, I'm 18 years old almost graduating high school and i really just want to be single and not in a relationship, but I'm so scared of the affect it will have on my boyfriend. If i told him i just wanted to be single through college he would find some wacky way to twist it around to where I'm the bad guy. He always uses reverse psychology to make me feel like the bad guy. I've come to a point in my life where I just don't know what to do or how to do it. Please help me. Thank you.

Answer
Hello,
First and foremost, I am soooooooo sorry for my delay in replying to your email.....
Well, it seems like there is no other way than to tell him the truth. But, I get a weird feeling that your guy may not be emotionally stable, because of the way you say he reacts to your insistence to be single. And, my fear would be that out of desperation, he may hurt you. That is the last thing I would want on my conscience,to put you in harms way.
If he has to find reasons to twist things around to make you feel bad for trying to leave him, then he is the one with the problem...Not you.
You are 18, you have your whole life ahead of you. And, so does he. The world will not end if you both don't work out. If he can not understand that, and insists on harassing you about it. Then, he needs to get help. You have made up your mind. And, you know what you want. You just have to find the courage to face him. Don't feel bad about making a decision that you feel is right for you.
Surround yourself with family and friends who will be there to encourage and support you. And, for safety's sake, don't go anywhere private with him.
Do things in a safe neutral place. And, ALWAYS tell people where you are and whom you are with. If he is a good guy and he has a good head on his shoulders, then he will understand and move on....
I wish you luck......And, stay strong!
~ M