AboutMelissa Durazo Expertise I will not help you cheat, so please do not ask me how to. If you are having issues with a cheater or suspect your mate of cheating, then, I can help you deal with the issue.
I may have the answers on how to confront and deal with a cheating man or woman. I can answer questions concerning the physical and mental anguish that a cheating mate can cause. advise how to move on from this type of relationship. Or, advise on how to forgive and work on fulfilling a new start. I can also help in recognizing the signs and lies of a cheater. As well, as how to catch one in the act.
Experience I was in a 10 yr. relationship, in which the last 3 years of it was nothing but lies, cheating & emotional abuse. I almost lost my job, my friends and family because I could not let go of this co-dependent relationship. I went through a life changing experience and I came out realizing that I was stronger than I thought I was. I learned that no one is responsible for my happiness and well being. I also learned, that I will make mistakes, I will fall down, but, in the end, it's how I face the problem that will get me through the day.......
Education/Credentials The school of Life. Life is all the education I have ever needed.
Question I've been with my boyfriend for about 4 years now. He cheated on me when our daughter was only 2 months old. We separated for about 6 months. I hooked up with a couple of guys and he tried to hook up with some girls during that time. We got back together 6 months after. I love him but I've cheated on him at least 10 times with 3 different guys in the last 2 years after we got back together. He hasn't found out any of this. I love him and I don't want to brake up with him. I just can't stop cheating, can I keep cheating? I really don't feel guilty because he's never there and doesn't even try to have sex with him. But when I do feel guilty I tell myself I won't do it again but I keep doing it. I had never cheated on him until he cheated on me.
Answer In all honesty? I think it is best to be honest with yourself and with your boyfriend and end this cycle of lies.
If he cheated on you first, and you decided to take him back, then, you can't use the excuse that he cheated on you first to make your cheating sound in the right. It is still wrong. Plus, the fact that you took him back, meant that you could never throw that fact in his face or use it as your excuse to cause him wrong. Yes, he wronged you first, but, what you are doing does not make it right.
Also,if you were both on a break from each other and both hooked up with different people at that time.....It is not considered cheating.
Perhaps being together is not the best thing for both of you right now....You have gotten yourself in a cycle that you have no control over. And, feeling guilty or justifying your behavior will not fix your situation.
If you truly wish to save your relationship, then, I would recommend counseling. If you are both committed to counseling and working on your relationship.....Then, there is a chance it could work out for you. But, both of you now, need to work on forgiveness.....And, it is going to be rough road. But, if there is truly love between both of you, then, counseling will work for you....
Good luck.....
Regards,
~ M
