AboutMelissa Durazo Expertise I will not help you cheat, so please do not ask me how to. If you are having issues with a cheater or suspect your mate of cheating, then, I can help you deal with the issue.
I may have the answers on how to confront and deal with a cheating man or woman. I can answer questions concerning the physical and mental anguish that a cheating mate can cause. advise how to move on from this type of relationship. Or, advise on how to forgive and work on fulfilling a new start. I can also help in recognizing the signs and lies of a cheater. As well, as how to catch one in the act.
Experience I was in a 10 yr. relationship, in which the last 3 years of it was nothing but lies, cheating & emotional abuse. I almost lost my job, my friends and family because I could not let go of this co-dependent relationship. I went through a life changing experience and I came out realizing that I was stronger than I thought I was. I learned that no one is responsible for my happiness and well being. I also learned, that I will make mistakes, I will fall down, but, in the end, it's how I face the problem that will get me through the day.......
Education/Credentials The school of Life. Life is all the education I have ever needed.
Question We dated for 3 years and we broke up because he was unfaithful and I could never trust him again which lead us both to be miserable all the time. We both care about eachother and I want to fix things. yes i know it takes time and we need to be friends so he can prove he's not as bad as I think while I learn to trust him and not be so paranoid. We hung out all week and I was under the impression that was the plan NOW once I found out he was talking to this girl who he had talked to right after we broke up he has changed his demeanor. NOW he just wants to be friends and if things work out they work out if they dont then we both just need to move on and that I shouldnt be under the assumption that we are just getting back together in a month. I said I cant be hurt again and he said he wouldnt and that I feel like he is just using me as a fill in gf until something better comes along and if he doesnt find anything better than he will be with me. His response was that he would rather hang with me than any other girl and won't sleep with anyone else either but if thats true why not be with me? Why still talk to this girl? He promised he wouldn't talk to her anymore and it was stupid and innocent. I should be happy with that but I don't believe him. How am I suppose to handle this? What can I say to him without being a nag and sounding paranoid and pushy? We aren't together so I dont want to talk about it forever and make us miserable again. I just want him to be upfront and honest. My heart really can't take this again. If it's a lost cause how do I move on? I've tried before and it seems to be impossible.
Answer Nothing is impossible.....Do you not believe you deserve better in your life?
If we feel like we don't deserve to be happy, we will always attract the same types of people who will treat us like crap. And, I don't think you want to be treated like crap for the rest of your life.
He doesn't know what he wants. And, it's unfair to make you feel this way. Or, to keep you on the side lines. He will treat you the way you will allow him to treat you. So, I think it is time to take YOUR life back. You tried, you waited, you played his game.....It's time to put YOU first. He doesn't deserve your patience or friendship. He is not
your friend. And, until he could prove to you he is friend worthy and grows up, you shouldn't allow him to be in your life. It will be his loss, NOT yours.
Be strong. Gather your strength and confidence to put yourself first and walk away. You deserve people in your life who will make your life a little nicer, not people who will make you feel bad....
It's your call and you choice. You decide when it all stops.....
And, trust me, when you do decide you are done being his stand by, you are going to feel empowered.....
Good luck and be strong!!
~ M
