AboutMelissa Durazo Expertise I will not help you cheat, so please do not ask me how to. If you are having issues with a cheater or suspect your mate of cheating, then, I can help you deal with the issue.
I may have the answers on how to confront and deal with a cheating man or woman. I can answer questions concerning the physical and mental anguish that a cheating mate can cause. advise how to move on from this type of relationship. Or, advise on how to forgive and work on fulfilling a new start. I can also help in recognizing the signs and lies of a cheater. As well, as how to catch one in the act.
Experience I was in a 10 yr. relationship, in which the last 3 years of it was nothing but lies, cheating & emotional abuse. I almost lost my job, my friends and family because I could not let go of this co-dependent relationship. I went through a life changing experience and I came out realizing that I was stronger than I thought I was. I learned that no one is responsible for my happiness and well being. I also learned, that I will make mistakes, I will fall down, but, in the end, it's how I face the problem that will get me through the day.......
Education/Credentials The school of Life. Life is all the education I have ever needed.
Question Hey Melissa, me and my girlfriend have been going out for over 2 years, the problem is, she recently cheated on me, with her friend, who happened to be her neighbor. I found out about it some few days after her betrayal. I confronted her about it, she admitted to her mistake and we agreed to try work things out. I am now experience a problem with my feelings towards her friend, i just think if i can revenge one day i will feel better. i hate him so much that i at times feel i am going to kill him.
Answer First and foremost, you need to get to a mental state of calmness. Because, what you just wrote is very serious. You are hurt and angered by the situation. But, what's done is done and you can not change that. I have been where you have been. You want revenge and that is a natural instinct. But,remember, you chose to make things work with your girlfriend, which means, that you may not forget what she did, but, you can not rehash it or bring it up as an excuse to stay angry. Otherwise, all that bitterness and anger will hurt you in the long run.
We are human, we all make mistakes, and we all wish we could hurt those that have hurt us. But, sometimes, you just need to come to terms with certain situations, find peace and forgiveness and move on. If you can not find it in your heart to forgive her or him, then, you and your girl are not ready to move forward in your relationship. I'm not saying you have to be friends with the guy, but, you just have to take situations like this with a strong sense of control and pride.
Look, I spent 5 years of my life being bitter and angry and trying to get back at my ex and the chick he left me for. But, no matter how many things I thought about to get them back or how much I stayed angry at them, I could never find happiness in everything that was going on around me. I missed out on life. Until I had what you would call an epiphany.....Not only did I have to swallow my pride, I found it in my heart to forgive them and move on.
She hurt you, he invaded you space and your girlfriend, you are pissed off and want revenge. The situation doesn't get more blunt than this.
The guy lives next door to her, there isn't much you can do except patch things up with your girlfriend and rebuild the trust that is broken between you both. As the saying goes, keep your friends close, keep your enemies closer. Don't give him the satisfaction of making you pissed and uncomfortable every time you go see your girl. Rise above that and be the better man. And, if you just can't seem to get passed it, then you and your girl need to call it quits.....
I hope that you don't do anything irrational and I wish you the best in your situation.....
If you need to vent, you can always send me another message. It's better to vent than react.....
Take care....
~ M
