About Mason Webb Expertise One of the most difficult things to go through is when your partner cheats. I can answer questions regarding the following: How do you take the steps to develop trust again with them. How to tell if she/he is cheating. How to regain trust in the relationship. How to confront a partner that you know is cheating.
Experience Dating Coach and author of 'Attractology Foundations: Principles of Attraction for the Modern Man,' Mason Webb has established himself as an elite dating expert in the art of attraction. Having spent the last six years studying social dynamics, interpersonal communication, seduction, and the science behind creating and keeping relationships, Mason has worked his way up over the last two years as Attractology's Head Dating Coach. His teachings are based on a natural approach to dating and a decorated individual experience to follow. Mason is one of the pioneers to the application of eastern philosophy, and sports intelligence to the dating world. While getting his degree in Psychology from Oregon State University, he managed to receive First Team All-Academic honors for two of his four years, and also played a year professionally with the Vancouver Whitecaps. Having studied under some of the top sports psychologists and life coaches in the world such as Dr. Jerry Lynch, and Dr. Dan Friegang, he uses applied psychology, visualization, affirmations, goal achievement techniques and influential communication to help his clients get the results they want. His unique understanding of social dynamics, coupled with a profound knowledge in mastery, and learning acceleration gives Mason the ability offer a fast, efficient, and unique style of consulting and counseling. As one of the top, emerging, online dating coaches, Mason looks forward to reaching out and touching as many people as he can.
Organizations Head Dating Coach at attractology.com
Publications Author of Attractology Foundations: Principles of Attraction for the Modern Man
Education/Credentials B.S. in Psychology at OSU
Awards and Honors 4-time academic all conference student athlete
Question i just stumbled upon your site and read the question from the lady with the unrepentant cheating boyfriend. This may sound weird but which one is better? Him admitting to his faults or him not even telling you anything until you find out and when you do confront him he responds by telling you that you have invaded his privacy...i think the latter is more disrespectful or what do you think? I have been dating this guy for ten months this month and i have been suspicious of him cheating for a while now. Once i start to feel that way i know i'm on to something so i investigate. first i saw phone calls to a certain girl but nothing incriminating to hold on to until two weeks ago i look through his phone after he had gone on rotation at his job and found an sms to another woman saying he couldn't wait to see her, warm thoughts and heart. i didn't do anything about that until three days ago i found another sms to the same girl saying he couldn't wait to hold her, xoxoxo! he has been planning a trip to India with his buddy for the end of this month and i suspect its said she he's going to meet. that did it for me. i had asked him over and over if there was someone else he was seeing and each time he denies saying i'm his only girlfriend and strangely i believe him. I am an innocent until proven guilty person. This man is sometimes selfish but mostly attentive and considerate of my needs and lately especially after his rotation our relationship had somewhat matured and we don't fight as often as we used to, in fact its literally down to zero. I even told him that if at any point he finds that he is no longer interested in this relationship i prefer that he tells me. Anyway, since i wasn't going to see him that day and i couldn't keep it in any longer i sent him an sms traveling him what i found and asking him to explain it to me. hours later he replies me by saying he would but i invaded his privacy...not speaking to me. this was two days ago and still haven't heard from him. I personally am stone cold as i write but i know i still like him a great deal. I don't intend to call him but i want your opinion.
Answer Thank you for your concern Iola, I know what you're going through and I genuinely empathize with you; it's not an easy thing to deal with.
I want to start by sort of summarizing what you've told me and what I assume is happening, and from there, give you my advice.
So you've been wandering about his infidelity for awhile now, and because of this, you've asked him if he's seeing anyone else several times, and you've gone into his phone on more than one occasion to check up on him. When you did find something, you waited for a little while and then confronted him. Now he won't talk to you because he thinks that you're in the wrong by invading his privacy. You still love him, and don't know what to do.
I'm going to shoot you pretty straight Iola, he's most likely been seeing somebody else, or has seen somebody else, and he's scared to talk to you. He's avoiding this conversation at all costs, and even though you shouldn't have been looking at his phone, it doesn't change the fact that he has been texting somebody else in a way that suggests that they've been together intimately. This is why he won't call you right now. He's scared.
My advice: Don't call him. If he cares enough, he will call you eventually. Let him be the first person to try and work out this situation. If he wants to talk about anything else, or deflect the conversation so that you are the one at fault then hang up. Don't waste your time. He's made a mistake that has broken your trust on a much deeper level than the small way that you've done by invading his privacy.
If the two of you do end up mending your current problem, then I think it's extremely important to re-evaluate the way that you communicate. The truth is, many relationships fail because both partners don't trust each other. A self-fulfilling prophecy happens where both people treat the other as if they're cheaters, and eventually, they become them. Really what it comes down to, is that there isn't an open floor for discussion and communication breaks down; problems are left unsolved, and jealousy builds and builds in the absence of this communication. Imagine a relationship where you and your partner know exactly what you expect from each other, you know how to tell him how you feel when something goes wrong and vis versa, and the two of you know how to resolve these situations in a positive and healthy way.
When I studied college relationships, I found that 90% of them eventually failed and of that 90%, 75% of those failed relationships were due to cheating. We found that by teaching this same demographic of students proper communication skills for a relationship, the statistic had drastically changed to 40% failed, and 30% were due to cheating.
You can see here that cheating is something that happens alot in college. Especially with younger couples who are still trying to find themselves but that communicating effectively prevents cheating from even occurring. If you can build a relationship with a healthy form of communication then you won't have to check your boyfriends phone, you will trust that if he had any thoughts like that, he would tell you.
Hope this helps, feel free to let me know what happens if he does contact you, my email is mason@attractology.com
