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How to Deal With Cheaters/m hurt
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Question
I have a very loyal boyfren or i had in fact,he loved me like nything,He had a problem wid his cellphone,he's realy attractive n so many gals always try to approach him,the main problem was his ex galfren was constantly calling him nagging him so he used to constantly switch his phone off,he didn't tell me this because he thought it would hurt me,I realy used to get angry n shout at him like anything because i used to get worried,once we had a big arguement n he's gone now,we work in da same company just our shift is different,he refuges to talk to me,I love him like anything n want him back,I cannot control my anger either,what should i do???
That sounds strange... your story.
Are you 100% sure it is his ex?
I keep my ringer off (just because I hate the noise - makes my heart jump) But I look at mine every 30 seconds. Did he call back really quick usually?
It just doesn't seem to be normal behavior. Haha I know people who check their phone every 30 seconds with their ringers ON.
He may not speak to you because his "ex" started asking questions about you?
Now if that doesn't fit at all - let me try and answer your question as you asked :) ...what to do...
No matter what... you should lay off a week or preferably two and let it cool off. Let him forget why he was mad, while you take time to rationalize where your feelings are really coming from.
After that short while you might try approaching him again. But face to face. It is easy to hit the ignore button on a phone, or not reply to the other 50 ways we communicate these days. Face to face he can't ignore any old feelings your face brings to him. Wear a perfume you wore around him preferably from early on in the relationship - smell has a huge part in memory. Tell him in a very short way that you want to try being friends again, that your sorry for the outburst, but your lonely without him and could really use a friend.
The key is to keep it short. If he is worth having in your life, he is worth apologizing to and dropping the subject.
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Elise
Expertise
I can answer questions ranging from why someone would cheat, how to get away with it, and most importantly in recognizing when your motives are not the correct ones. I can help with someone who is unsure with their feelings and recognize when someone should be talked out of doing something they will regret. When dealing with those who are hurt by a cheater in their life, I am sensitive to their condition and answer questions from "the other side of the fence" in a way that focuses on the importance of not taking it as personally as many do. I will also emphasize the importance of not emotionally abusing your partner while cheating, and how to appropriately accept the consequences and not hurt your partner further if caught. There is a big difference between emotional cheating and physical cheating and I am quick to point out when someone is taking advantage of their partner by cheating emotionally, versus someone who is not satisfied but still deeply loves their partner.
Experience
I am a woman who is a firm believer in open relationships and can justify against any argument with well thought out and accurate information backing my position. In rare occasions I have been in a relationship in which my mate did not support the lifestyle. I have resorted to cheating on at least 3 partners with frequency, and was never found to have done so. I believe that humans are not by nature monogamous, and find nothing wrong with multiple partners. I strongly encourage safe practices, and proper hygiene. I also believe strongly in accepting the consequences that cheating entails, and not hurting the person you are with.
Education/Credentials
Just some psychology classes in college, including sexuality in society.
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