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How to Deal With Cheaters/Sexy Back.
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Question
Ok so i have been in a really commited relationship for about 2 years. Well lately i have gotten bored with our sex. Well there is this guy i work with who really turns me on! I want him soooo bad i just don't know what to do. I don't want to cheat on my significant other but his sex game isn't tight. What should i do????
Well... if your in a committed relationship thats kind of part of the commitment. It's not really about "I'll be faithful till you get boring" if you want to keep this guy in your life this is part of it... one of the "downs".
Now is his "game" not tight ever or have you reached a point where you've both gotten comfortable and it's gotten dull?
You have to keep in mind that while you are getting restless, he may be settling into the idea of being with you a long time - the ultimate goal for most people in a relationship. I would hate for you to not realize and throw that away when you are capable of knowing what you have now.
The thing with the new guy... There will always be "another guy" if you're mentally open to the flirtation. That is also kinda part of being in a committed relationship, not allowing someone to get that close. Sure its fun... in you lies the decision to be faithful or not. But yea, there will always be another guy... when you are 40 there will be some 40 year old that catches your eye... It's nature.
So I would really decide if your ready to keep your relationship going or not. All this is a decision you make and a level of understanding you need to reach.
If you don't want to cheat... another option is to press for an open relationship. It is a hard sell, but you'll both find you try harder to look good, self esteeme goes up and you'll see each other at your best again. Not comfortable like you have become. If you try this though please talk with me further on it, I've had a lot of experience in this and hearing from others and have some suggestions I consider a must to make sure you don't hurt your relationship.
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Elise
Expertise
I can answer questions ranging from why someone would cheat, how to get away with it, and most importantly in recognizing when your motives are not the correct ones. I can help with someone who is unsure with their feelings and recognize when someone should be talked out of doing something they will regret. When dealing with those who are hurt by a cheater in their life, I am sensitive to their condition and answer questions from "the other side of the fence" in a way that focuses on the importance of not taking it as personally as many do. I will also emphasize the importance of not emotionally abusing your partner while cheating, and how to appropriately accept the consequences and not hurt your partner further if caught. There is a big difference between emotional cheating and physical cheating and I am quick to point out when someone is taking advantage of their partner by cheating emotionally, versus someone who is not satisfied but still deeply loves their partner.
Experience
I am a woman who is a firm believer in open relationships and can justify against any argument with well thought out and accurate information backing my position. In rare occasions I have been in a relationship in which my mate did not support the lifestyle. I have resorted to cheating on at least 3 partners with frequency, and was never found to have done so. I believe that humans are not by nature monogamous, and find nothing wrong with multiple partners. I strongly encourage safe practices, and proper hygiene. I also believe strongly in accepting the consequences that cheating entails, and not hurting the person you are with.
Education/Credentials
Just some psychology classes in college, including sexuality in society.
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