Expert: Elise - 3/2/2010

Question
I have a pregnant girlfriend. I'm not married to her, so there is no hang-up there. I met a girl recently that I really like. I haven't told her anything about myself, other than that I am interested in her. I have been engaging her for about two weeks now. I feel terrible, and I deserve to. My pregnant girlfriend decided to sleep with another guy after we had a fight and were separated for about five weeks. I ended up with gonorrhea and chlamydia. I've been treated and I'm all better. I really like this other female and I don't want my pregnant girlfriend to leave me. The most difficult part of being male is deciding which woman you really love; I'm excited about my new friend, but I don't wanna hurt my girl; even though she hurt me terribly. What should I do?

Answer
Babe, you can't expect to ever have a real love until you love yourself. You aren't ready for love if you can't see how THEY could, you won't believe them and follow a series of subconscious attempts to push them away to prove to yourself they aren't going anywhere.
You may have a list of reasons be it behavior or physical reasons, but know your differences are no different or bizarre than anyone else's. You are not anything but normal, and not anything but what you needed to be.
If your asking me, I say leave both those girls alone and work on yourself for the sake of the child. If you can get to a clear level of understanding of yourself and your place in the world... that will make one of the three of you. Figure out what your life means and what matters most for achieving a lifetime of happiness and you will see that both these girls are a waste of time, because no self respecting girl would be in that situation herself. In that you can grow to be one example for the baby to see what a real adult looks like.
Now this new girl, you may like, but you for some reason found it important to tell me that you didn't tell her anything about you. If she did would she still like you? Your in love with the idea of someone seeing you as the man you want to be.
I don't want you to think this is all critical of you, please see this is a normal step that all people are faced with at some point, many choose not to cross that line and that's why you have grown women gossiping in their cubicles and surrounded in drama. You've got a chance right now, and someone telling you directly, you can choose to grow up instead of just go through the motions the rest of your life. You can decide to accept yourself and live a happy life and as a result make the lives around you happier.