Expert: Amanda L. - 2/7/2004

Question
I'm 25 and have been dating the same girl for almost 7 years. When we met in college I was a virgin and she was not, which wasn't a problem, but now that we've been dating so long I feel like I'm missing something. I love her and I know we'll probably end up getting married, yet I don't know if I'd be missing something if I never had sex with anyone but her. I don't know why just now I've been having these thoughts, and I don't really know what to make of them. The bad thing is I know of someone I can cheat with, which makes me feel even worse. No matter how hard I try I can't surpress these feelings. What's your take on this? Much Appreciated.  

Answer
Chris,

This exact same thing happened to my brother actually. I'll tell you the same thing I told him, you need to ask youself, is it worth it? You'll have the experience, but you could lose the person you love over one night.  There's no relationship behind a one night stand.
What you may want to try, is if she's open minded sexually maybe find out if she'd be interested in a 3 some with another woman.  
You need to understand that it probably won't be worth it to cheat on her just to supress the idea that you didn't have sex with anyone else. If you're satisfied with your sex life then why does it matter?

Amanda L.