Expert: Don - 8/2/2007

Question
Hello,

I am hoping someone might be able to provide insight into my situation.  I had been with my boyfriend for 3 and half years and we had planned to get married later once we had both finished our education (me, PhD, him Bachelor's). In this endeavor, we had moved our things to the city in which we were relocating for my graduate school and as I thought, had things pretty much set.  I drove him to the international airport to visit family out of the country about 4 weeks ago.  He had last been to his native country 5 months previously and ever since that initial trip (which was his first trip back in 7 yrs) he had been acting differently.  Nevertheless, we said our goodbye's and "I love you's" and planned to reunite in 2 months when he returned back to the states.

I had gut feelings that something wasn't right when he didn't call me for a span of 3 weeks, and to make an already long story short, I found out via his own e-mail that he had gotten married.  I saw the wedding pictures that his father had sent him through his e-mail.

Evidently, this has been a tormenting time for me; I've never been so betrayed in my life.  He had the audacity to contact me 2 days ago and started yelling at me over the phone; I hung up before I could figure out why he would even call me.

What torments me the most is why he didn't have the guts to break up with me before he left, or how or if he even had this planned.  The last time we spoke as a couple was a week into his trip and he told me he loved me; 3 weeks later he got married.

I've been told that I will get through this and he is a coward and a fool for doing this to me, but in all sincerity I still can't understand how someone could through someone away like this.

Please, please any words to help would be greatly appreciated.  Any perspective is needed

Answer
Apparently the guy is just an insensitive jerk. There is nothing you can really do about it. He tricked you and there is nothing you can do about it.

Basically all you can do is forget the guy and move on with your life.

He has no reason to do these things, it's just something a selfish person would do.

Just forget the guy, he's not worth your time or attention, be happy that you aren't stuck with the guy.