Expert: Anika Rynn - 9/12/2006

Question

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Followup To

Question -
I recently found out my husband has been cheating with another women in another country. He tells me that he is going their on business. I found a text message on his phone. He went off on me saying whats on his phone is his business, and I'm too pokie. he has left the house, and has asked when can he come for his things. Do you think our marriage is over. I have felt some thing was wrong ever since he has been traveling to this country.

Answer -
Hi Karen, Alright well did the text message definitely prove that he was cheating? If so then you are the one who has the right to be mad. I think though all of this is coming out of suspicions, and you should have waited until you had some definite evidence before you confronted him. Or perhaps just sat down and told him that you felt your marriage was falling apart. If you’re still interested in saving the marriage you should ask him to possibly seek counseling (if what was on the text message was proof that he was). You may just have to ask yourself, could you still love him after that? E-mail me soon telling me how things go ok?

P.S. Try to a bit more specific next time with your question
You're right I should have waited. I am not the type of person who sneaks around trying to find out information. I confronted him with the question, is he having an afair? His reply was what's on his phone is his business. What type of answer is that to you wife. He is my business, and I think I have every right to suspect something. Am I correct?

Answer
Hello again Karen, At this point he isn't providing any evidence to show he isn't guilty, and yes you have every right to be suspicious. I don't know if you would want to try and save your marriage or just end this. If you want to try and save it the previous bit of information I sent you might help. I think though unless he decides to be more open and honest your relationship will be over. I do hope things get better you, and he opens up a bit. -Anika-