Expert: Sam E - 4/5/2007

Question
My husband and I were together for 4yr with 4kids. Recently he decided to move out temp he said for space and better himself since he has an alcohol problem and anger (no he doesnt hurt anyone). Saturday he went to a friends house (girl who is 43 and he is26). He moved out the next day saying he needed to work on his addiction. We didnt see him for four days, says he still loves me even if we dont work it out. He doesnt call when he is over there and he stays for an hour or 10 mins than leaves to go back to her place. He says now its just temp until he thinks things over. But he hasent changed anything over there and he doesnt talk about how we are suppposed to fix this. I have a gut feeling he is cheating on me with her. How can I tell if he is? He says he goes over there and sleeps on the sofa while her and her roommate are in another room. He came to pick up his stuff with her and does errands for her. He also works with her but swears nothing is going on.

Answer
It pretty obvious that he is not working on his problems and is not working on his relationship with you. I'm not fond of a married man staying with another woman. I can't fathom why he would choose to stay with her and not a male friend or relative? Age is irrelevant and I think there is probably something going on. I think he is trying to move on but is afraid to hurt you or even fearful that he may be making a mistake and doesn't want to be honest with you.
I would let him know that he needs to find another roommate like, yesterday, or its over. You have to play hardball if you want the truth from him.
~Sam