Expert: Bruce D. Frank - 10/19/2007

Question
I'm 18 and I've been with my boyfriend, my first true love, for 2 and a half years, we've a had a rough last year but we've always managed to get through it somehow. But last summer I cheated on him...I cheated on him for about 2 months with one of his close friendS, mostly because I wasnt getting enough affection/attention and he had just become kinda cold. But then one night, while me and the guy i cheated on him with were with some friends at one of their houses and he called at like 4 in the morning, after us not talking for about a week because me and David had gotten into a fight, he was drunk and was saying how much he still loved me and he was sorry for everything that had happened. So then I got off the phone and thought to myself "what the hell am I doing with this other guy, I love David (thats my bf/s name)" So the next day, I cut it off with the guy I was cheating with,he got pretty sore about it but he never told David about it, or so i thought he never would. Now its 2 months later and I have had no desire whatsoever to cheat again and me and David are doing great, better than we've been in a long long time, but then tonight David said that John(the guy who i cheated on him with) called him and told him about us, yea thats right 2 MONTHS LATER...i was on the phone with david when he told me and I denied the whole thing, I figure why tell the truth, he would leave me forever and I dont wanna ruin my whole life for a stupid fling that meant absolutely nothing to me...I kinda acted like I didn't care  I said things like "he's just trying to get under your skin" and "If we really did then why wouldnt he have said anything sooner?" I kinda just blew it off but inside I was screaming  like "Oh my God, he's gonna find out and leave me."..So i guess what Im asking is...what if David calls John back and John tells him more stuff about us, like stuff only people who I had messed around with would know? For instance the color of the chair in my room...Do I still deny and just say Johns an asshole who wants to break us up? Im so sorry for what I did to David...I just dont wanna lose him...

Answer
You are really between a rock and a hard place.  Because David knows something, even if he is not sure, he does know something.  When people listen to their feelings they know more than you would ever reveal.  Now, the gamble that you have is whether or not to tell him the truth while stressing about John beating you to the punch.  If you love him and he loves you then you may want to take the chance and tell him the truth.  If you lose him then you never really had him.  If not, things will be very hard but you can get through it.  You just have to show him, and make him feel, that you love him.  Again, this will take time but it can be done.  Think about it carefully, if David figures out that John was telling the truth and that you were lying that is a big problem.  But if you come clean the chances of him forgiving you are much higher.  You made a mistake... but it is not the end of your world.  Good Luck.