Expert: RITA - 9/26/2004

Question
A co-worker and I started seeing a lot of each other about 8 months ago.  Anyways...To cut to the chase...I fell in love and I believe she did too.  At least that's what she told me.  Problem being is that she had and still has a boyfriend that lives about an hour away.  We cam to the conclusion that we can't do this anymore and I basically made her choose and she chose to stay with her "out of town" boyfriend.

I'm hurt.  I have all of these feelings built up inside for her now and I believe that she shares the same feelings.  She is just not strong enough to let go of her current situation.

So my question is what do I do?  Just let go and hope that she comes back when/if she wises up?  Find a way to let her current boyfriend know what has been going on?  Maybe that will force her hand?  I really don't know what to do...

Answer
First of all Matt, you knew she was in a relationship when you started out with her, so don't wonder why things are in such a predicament now....
Anyways, I will say, don't tell the boyfriend...she would hate you for ratting on her, and he probably has some type of an idea somethings going on...as for her, just leave her alone and let her make that decision. YOu can't force anybody to do what they're not ready to do, and you don't want her coming to you  by giving her an ultimatum do you?
As for you just focus on yourself, and just accept things right now...and if you choose to be there if she should come back around, then it would be your time to decide what to do. I know you love her, and want her in your life, but if its meant to be, it will be. If not, then either way, life does continue and who knows what might be ahead for you.
Take care