Expert: Ini Obong - 3/28/2005

Question
Hi! I'm a 25 year old woman pursuing my masters and a man I fancy is 26 pursuing his graduate degree as well. I get the feeling that he likes me back because of the lustful way he looks at me. He mentioned to my friend that he was interested in a lady, and I am the only lady that entire month that he gave his phone number to. He knows I am interested in him and sometimes I see him looking at me with a smug little smirk on his face because he knows I like him, but I never flirt with him or even speak to him, so I think he is getting a little confused at my behaviour and why I'm playing so hard to get.

However recently we have been on very bad terms and have had altercations. We are on non-speaking terms. I still get the feeling he wants me just as badly as I want him, he is getting very worked up over me, whereas if it was any other woman he didn't care, so why should he get so worked up emotionally over me? He has got to care about me more than a friend to some level. All my friends say I'm crazy. They say since he hasn't asked me out, he doesn't like me that way and I'm just imagining things. What's your spin on this situation, or should I just avoid this man as he is no good for me? I have seen him gazing at me lately with a hard, cold expression on his face. When he sees me he acts like I don't exist. It's very uncomfortable. I can't just go up and talk to him because of the very bitter things that were said and done between us. Plus I'm not sure I can have a decent conversation without him blowing up on me. I think I should give him a month or so to cool down.

What do I do now, just let him make the move? Thank you much.
Terry  

Answer
Hi Terry,

It is possible that you are projecting your own feelings unto him ie you are crazy about him and you then believe HE is crazy about YOU.

I wonder what caused the quarrel between you two. Kindly feel me in.

But there is no harm in becoming friends with him. Why not invite him for a drink at a nearby bar and you guys get to know each other a bit more. It might lead to something more intimate or on the other hand you could observe that there aint much to the guy.

But stop being scared, and get a grip of yourself.

All the best,

Regards