Expert: Don - 5/17/2007

Question
Ok, I will try to make this as short as possible. I am 30 years old, married for 10 years, with 4 kids together. My husband is suddenly concerned that I messed around with a co-worker. This co-worker is notorious for being a philanderer and another co-worker of mine, who my husband is friends with recently told my husband that this philanderer carries on relationships with several women at work. My husband says that I had a "guilty look" on my face when our friend brought this up....... I have no idea why I would have a guilty look. I have worked with this person for many years and do know him well. However, there has never been anything going on between us. My husband thinks that because this guy is such a philanderer, and I am good looking- that something must have gone on at one time during the years. He has always known that I am happily married and not at all interested in him.
I have never cheated on my husband or given him any other reason to suspect me of doing so, besides the "guilty look" that he swears I had.
Why is he suddenly so insecure about this and how can I convince him that he is WRONG??? This whole thing is really bothering me. After all this time, I thought he trusted me more.

Answer
I don't know how you could convince him any other way, unless he wants you to sit down and take a lie detector test, what else could you really do or say to convince him?

All I can tell you to say, is to explain to him how hurt you are by his senseless accusations. Explain to him that you love him and always have and would never even think of cheating on him. And ask him if he he can't trust you so much what is his point of continuing the marriage with you? Ask him why he feels so strongly about this situation and then tell him how crazy it is for him to think such things. Hopefully he'll see how silly he is and stop accusing of doing things you've never done.

I hoped this helped and good luck