Expert: Don - 9/17/2007

Question
Look. I need some help here,I have had a gf for long, been suspecting that she is cheating on me with her brother whom she lives with. She is 26 and the bro is a 49 and divorced. I had asked this way back but she denied. Recently they moved to a bigger appartment, she has her own room but she insist on sleeping on the spare bed in her brothers room. Recently I was working on her brothers room, after work I emptied the trash cans and that night we went out with her and her brother and came back at 3 in the morning. I insisted on going to my place but promised to continue with my work very early. when I got there I met her at the gate leaving for work. I also met her brother at the door also leaving for work , he tossed the keys to his room to me and told me to continue with work. well her bed was never slept on and her brothers big bed looked jumbled n the sheets were in the bathroom, guess what I did.........the trash can....it had freshly used condoms wrapped in a polythene bag.....I never left them there the previous day.I confronted her the secound time but she denied n told me a was sick. Im sure of the time factor, I was only away from them for about 3 hours, and her brother doesnt have a girlfriend, he is that scared type of a man who loves being alone.

Answer
I'm not sure what question you are asking, it seems to be you have all the proof you need. You realize something funny is going on just by the facts that you have observed.

There is no reason why a 26 year old woman should be sleeping in the same room as her 49 year old brother, when she has a room of her own. And the proof with the condoms should tell you that they have some kind of inappropriate sexual relationship going on.

The real question is why are they doing the things they are doing, chances are she's nothing going ever admit to you that she is sleeping with her brother because of the shame behind it. But what you need to do is tell her you know what she is doing, so there is no point in her denying it, you just want to know why.

Maybe this has been something that has been going on for years, with her brother being so much older than her, maybe he has been taking advantage of her since she was a child and now she doesn't know how to escape him. You need to really talk to her and get her away from her brother and if it is true that they are having sex, if you really care about her, you need to try and get her some kind of help from a doctor or therapist.