How to Deal With Cheaters/SHOULD I LEAVE

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Expert: Calixta Arguinzoni - 8/16/2006


Question
I met this guy 5 months ago who seemed to be ok, he was sweet, kind, and loving, not knowing he was married until i seen a wedding ring and i asked, ARE U MARRIED? He said yes, for a month and instantly started to give me reasons why he didnt wear it and that it was a mistake. We started to hang out more and more, we even sleep together. I'm so confursed, i'm in love and don't want to get out but I feel like I have to eventhough I'm beside him when he talks to her and know that they don't get alone. He asked me twice if HE WASN"T MARRIED, WOULD I MARRY HIM.. I said yes because we get alone so well, we know things about eachother that noone in the world could find out.. I know all of his deepest secrets, basically i'm #1 and shes #2. PLEASE help me... I love this guy more than anything...

Answer
Good evening,

you wrote:

"1 MORE Q.. EVERY TIME I BRING UP I WANNA START MY OWN LIFE BY MOVING ON, HE GETS MAD AN DONT WANT TO HEAR IT. HELP"


I think that you are gonna have to make your place in this relationship and take the upper hand. Don't let him manipulate you in the sense where he decides for you, when he tries to do something like this you should turn the tables around. If you can't make decisions in his marriage he definately should not make decisions for the both of you now. Have you asked him why he does this? Do you not have the same right to look for someone else just as he is doing with you?

If you really want to go ahead and move on you practically don't have to ask him, you just go ahead and tell him. He has no say in that. Just as you probably don't have a say on what he can and can't do wih his marriage. Let me know if there is anything else you'd like to ask. Success in controlling this current issue.

How to Deal With Cheaters

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Calixta Arguinzoni

Expertise

I can answer questions regarding infidelity, either from your part or your partner. Questions that involve suspicion, how to avoid suspicion from your lover, how to cope with cheating, how to notice "red flags" that maybe your lover is drifting from you, how not stray from your relationship for other men/women, how to cope with your lovers issues regarding your permanent or stable relationship, how to handle two relationships at once, how to avoid being caught in a love triangle,etc.

Experience

I was a volunteer mediator for three years in my community and participitaded helping women and men, with their issues regarding infidelity in their relationships. Most of the knowledge that I have on recognizing signs or suspicions of infidelity were acquired through being a independant contractor for a private investigator firm. I have also been able to apply my knowledge to past relationships and have been able to stop the problem before it ever got anywhere.

Education/Credentials
I currently am in my fourth year in College with a Major in Psychology in which by next fall I will begin my Masters degree in Clinical Psychology.

Past/Present clients
Past clients were usually women and Men mostly in their early twenties to early fifties.

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