Expert: Ini Obong - 5/23/2005

Question
I am 20 years living in Kennesaw Georgia. My ex is now 21 we have been dating for a little over 2 years. We have been living together since 6 months into the relationship and now we currently lived at my uncles house by ourselves. I come to find out that after moving there she been looking online for a date. I found out that she went to a dating website and she has been talking to a dude in the area for 3 weeks. She told me he was just a friend but she talks and texts him all day long. She broke up with me the last day of the 3 weeks she and that other guy been talking. She said that my negativity pushed her away. I asked her if we could try again but she said she need more time. She spent her time with the other dude chatting and talking more on the phone. She snunk in and out of the house not telling me when and where she was going or when she would be back. She was with this so called friend to 4 in the morning on day I caught her. I tried to throw her out upon finding finding her feeling about this dude out but when confronthing her she said he is just a friend and was able to stay. I The next night I told her I need my space and she had to go to her mother and leave her cell phone. She really wanted that cell phone. I went through the texts and I read all the flirting and that the dude was invited to the house. So I just completely threw her out. She wants to be friends. She continues to wear my promise ring and my locket I gave her but she dates this dude. She says she wants to be friends but finds excuses to not hang with me. Lately we had sex together leaving hickies on each other. I asked why she did what she did and she said I pushed her to do this. She talks to me about how she sleeps in the same bed as this guy and seeing his penis. Im suppose to be going to VA with her and her family this week and thinking about not going. I think she has no remorse for anything she is doing. She only talks about her happiness as being important. She owes me 800 bucks but doesnt pay me a dime. I am put in the back seat after 2 years. I still love her but I think I need to just leave or something. I just know this is my first relationship.

Answer
Hi,

The girl is very fond of you and she is has gotten deeply used to you so she cant let go. But then she is bored. Bored stiff with you. You dont create no excitement in her any longer thats why she is following the other dude with more charisma. Add some colour to yourself man. Go out with more beautiful chicks then you will be confident that no girl can mess with you anyhow.

She has a hold on you and she realises that you are rather weak. Start by taking control. Tell her you dont want her to see the guy again. If she dares see him then you will go warn the guy off yourself. You can bet she wont want that sort of scene so she wl behave. But note i say threaten her not the guy; he may crack your skull you know.

Dont bother to travel with the family. Just tell them you cant go thet their daughter will explain to them.

Get a hold of youself boy, be a man and stop whinning like a wimp.