Expert: Dear Shay - 11/19/2002

Question
I don't think he is, let me start from the begining.  Been togetger for 3 years lived together for 2.  Supposedly took a break and I moved home, 1 week later he had another girl stay overnight at our house.  Wanted to kill her, still do, this was 5-6 months ago. I know everything about her exept what she looks like.  Driving me insane. Anyway we got back together, only split for a month.  Bothered me so bad cause I was the first for him and then she came along and was the second so it wasn't just me anymore, GOD I want to kill her because that is not like him to be with some whore, I know his friends at work encouraged him-bastards- any way 6 months later wich is today, he proposed to me, we are engaged.  Why do I still stalk that girl do ya think he would still be with her since im so psyco, I think i was or am still obsessed with her.  I call her and hang up or say stupid shit or have my friends stay stuff on her cell, dumb bitch, i should be a private investigator for woman I swear, i know everything down to were her fatjer vouklenteers for fire fighters.  So my question is, why do i still feel so like everything is going on behind my back, i mean we are planning a wedding and all i think about is that bitch.  I guess because i always would say, " oh- he wouold never " well he did and it totaly turned my world around and up side down so no i dont trust him anymore, please help me im driving myself insane!!!
Amber

Answer
Well hun, you are just hurt. You cant imagine your boyfriend with someone else, and he was. She took YOUR spot in his life for a brief moment, and that hurts you. But hun, you have him now. He wants you. But if you dont trust him, do you think its wise to start planning a wedding? Hun, stop calling her and stop "harrassing" her..because you could get you and your friends into some serious legal trouble. Concentrate on your relationship, and how to improve it. If you continue to allow yourself to be angry, you wont ever get over it. Hun, he is with you..keep that in mind. There was nothing good enough for him to want to stay with her. But he loves you. Just stop contacting her and take a breather. If you cant seem to trust him, hold off on the wedding right now. Take time to heal. Good luck hun!