Expert: RITA - 5/3/2005

Question
Dear Rita,

I have been seeing a girl for eight months. We are more than friends, but less than lovers. Lately, Iv'e noticed my girl has been going out a lot lately with her friend Terri. My girl claims she hates this local bar, yet she went there three times last week until almost 3am, twice without me. Last night I tried several times calling her until 11pm, and she didn't answer, or return my calls. My girl has four kids and is busy with school, and other activities, but the nagging feeling another man is in her life persists in annoying me. She is so busy, yet she makes time to go out until 3am. Something must be wanting her to go to that bar. I asked her about this, and she claims there is no one else, and that I hold a special place in her life, and it is not in her nature to have "one night stands."
She asked me if I would go with her to a dance on Friday night, and I agreed. If another man was in her life, would she have asked me to the dance? I'm confused. Please answer my questions, and any other helpful advice would be most welcome. Thank you.  

Answer
Dear Chuck
You state that you are "more than friends, but less than lovers"..that to me would imply that you are dating, but not totally committed just to each other. If she wants to go out with a girlfriend, she doesn't have to check in with you, especially if you are not living together as yet. I would go ahead with her to the dance she asked you to..if she didn't want you to go she wouldn't ask, as far as I see it. Quit fishing for something that more than likely isn't there...and just enjoy your time with her.
Take care