Expert: Don - 7/5/2007

Question
QUESTION: Hi Don,

I've been dating this guy for two months, we both seem really into each other, but he told everyone that we are NOT boyfriend and girlfriend, we are just dating, and that he doesn't want a girlfriend.

We added each other on Facebook as in a relationship with each other (on the online profile, you can add the name of who is your boyfriend/girlfriend, such as it will say ___ is in a relationship with ____ )

He added me on the relationship thing, but then told me that just because he put that online, that this doesn't change our status.

So does this mean he is not that into me?

Also I have noticed some bloody scratches on his back. It's in a place he can't reach, it looks like from a woman's fingernails. Oh god...please tell me it isn't true...should I get out of this relationship as fast as I can run?

Bianca

ANSWER: I think he is up to something. You and I both know where those scratches came from. He is cheating on you with another woman. Plus the fact that he doesn't want to claim you as his girlfriend is not a good sign.

You need to get away from this guy as soon as you can.

I hope this helped and good luck.

---------- FOLLOW-UP ----------

QUESTION: Before we met, we were actually pen pals for four months and then met in real life. He wrote me letters that entire time. We had everything in common and finished each other's sentences. He told everyone that he thought I was a very special lady and that he wanted to take things slow with me.

Whenever we hung out, he was always very kind, generous, sympathetic, compassionate, loving, caring, and passionate. He always did nice things for me, introduced me to his friends and made them my family here.

He was always very gentle with me, never pushed me for sex or anything like that. We have not had sex, and he never asked for it, although I suppose that is what he wanted all along.

So basically you are saying that this guy has bad intentions. Am I just another piece of ass to him? All those letters he wrote me was just so he could get laid? I guess I am not that important to him...just another piece of ass, huh. That hurts. Or does he have some feeling.

Answer
I'm sure he cares about you, he wouldn't waste all of that time just for a piece of ass. It's way easier to get it elsewhere. I just don't think he cares about you as much as you care about him. If he did he wouldn't have a problem with everybody knowing you were his girlfriend and he wouldn't have a problem saying it to you.

I think as long as he says you aren't really his girlfriend he can keep you around but also still deal with other girls on the side.

He cares for you, just not in the right way.